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Do you agree or disagree with this statement? The rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.17

The rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 17
In civilized and modernized societies, human beings have always strived to improve their living standards and bring more convenience to their day-to-day lives. Today, it is axiomatic that there are some rules, which youth should obey them. A plethora of people possess the conviction that it is possible following these rules by youth is too strict, whereas others might hold exactly the opposite view. I firmly endorse the first conviction instead of the latter. In what follows, I am going to aptly delve into the most outstanding reasons to advocate my point of view. The first point to be mentioned is that, nowadays, a lot of rules have been established by authorities in societies. These rules are different in any community. In fact, it is feasible that some of these rules are strict to follow by people. For example, there are the rules related to the veil in some Asia countries. It is no secret that these rules are unpleasant for most of the young woman belonging to these countries. Therefore, they do not like pursuing these rules related the veil. Meanwhile, in this situation, some of them may immigrate to another country. In my own experience, I am citizen of Iran and I intend to immigrate to one of the Europe countries due to the veil regulations established in my country. Consequently, I would not have immigrated to another country had my authorities of my country not appointed these strict regulations. Another equally noteworthy point supporting this opinion is that, although existence of the rules in any society is very useful for people, some of these regulations may be very strict to follow by youth. In fact, the enforcing these rules in communities annoys young people. For instance, In Canada, there are the strict regulations associated to driving, which are very annoying for youth. Even, form psychological point, some young people may do works against these strict rules and commit crimes. The noteworthy statistics, revealed by social research conducted in my country, show that any country that has very strict laws will have a high crime rate in that country. Thus, the more time elapses, the more authorities realize that enforcing very strict laws is not useful for community. To put it in briefly, all the enumerated reasons lead us to the conclusion that youth are not satisfied to obey the strict laws, and enforcing these regulation cannot only increase the crime rate, but can also have negative impact on different fields of communities. However, a paramount issue that must be mentioned is that some counterexamples might exist, which are not mentioned above. As a result, conducting more surveys and studies to answer this question more precisely.
In civilized and modernized societies, human beings have always strived to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their living standards and bring more convenience to their day-to-day
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, it is axiomatic that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
should obey them. A plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
possess the conviction that it is possible following these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
is too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
, whereas others might hold exactly the opposite view. I
firmly
endorse the
first
conviction
instead
of the latter. In what follows, I am going to
aptly
delve into the most outstanding reasons to advocate my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
of view.

The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
to
be mentioned
is that, nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
have
been established
by authorities in societies. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
in any community. In fact, it is feasible that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
to follow by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, there are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
related to the veil in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Asia
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. It is no secret that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
are unpleasant for most of the young woman belonging to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Therefore
, they do not like pursuing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
related the veil. Meanwhile, in this situation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them may immigrate to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience, I am citizen of Iran and I intend to immigrate to one of the Europe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
due to the veil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regulations
established in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Consequently
, I would not have immigrated to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
had my authorities of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
not appointed these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
regulations.

Another
equally
noteworthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
supporting this opinion is that, although existence of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
in any society is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regulations
may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
to follow by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
. In fact, the enforcing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
in communities annoys young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, In Canada, there are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regulations
associated to driving, which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
annoying for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
. Even, form psychological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may do works against these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and commit crimes. The noteworthy statistics, revealed by social research conducted in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
that has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
laws will have a high crime rate in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Thus
, the more time elapses, the more authorities realize that enforcing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
laws is not useful for community.

To put it in
briefly
, all the enumerated reasons lead us to the conclusion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
are not satisfied to obey the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
laws, and enforcing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regulation
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
increase the crime rate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields of communities.
However
, a paramount issue that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be mentioned
is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
counterexamples might exist, which are not mentioned above.
As a result
, conducting more surveys and studies to answer this question more
precisely
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
48Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
The joy of knowing a foreign language is inexpressible. I find it really difficult to express such joy in my mother tongue.
Munia Khan

IELTS essay The rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 17

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
448 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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