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do you agree or disagree? the internet provides people with valuable information, other think access to so much information creates problems? v.112

the internet provides people with valuable information, other think access to so much information creates problems? v. 112
Recently, the world has become very technologically advanced, the most important invention is the Internet. Some people believe that the Internet is not a significant invention, however, there is a substantial body of evidence that casts doubt in this belief. From a personal point of view, the Internet is an amazing discovery, given that it has a positive impact on transportation, communication, and education. Below I will strive my supporting points in more detail. The first and the foremost point, The Internet has a great impact on education, given that it opens a door to a wealth of information. A vivid example can be given to shed a light on what was elaborated above is, schools in California implement the usage of the Internet in all the learning subjects. Furthermore, this approach broad students’ horizon and maximize the potential learning outcomes. Consequently, the Internet has a vast benefit on the education field. Next, coupled with Internet education, better communication is another benefit of the Internet. In the past, there was no Internet, and people all over the world could not contact each other easily. However, the Internet has made the world a global village; given that by the Internet people can use many Apps such as WhatsApp, and Viber to communicate with anyone at any place of the world; moreover, it is cost-effective. In addition to that, almost all people who access wed have social media accounts. Either on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram they connect their friends through means of “liking”, “sharing”, or “comments”. Therefore, internet communication has made sure to connect people from two sides of the earth with no problem at all. Although the previous points are the first ones which cross the mind in a glance, they are not the only reasons available. There is another subtle point that must be born on the mind. The Internet has made transportation easier than before. Provided that people use data connection ability such as GPS to navigate their destinations, they can get where they need to go. Moreover, people can use the Phone App such as Google Maps to know the traffic condition in order to find the best routes to save time and gas. A recent survey conducted by the University of Toronto found that the Internet has reduced the commute time drastically which enhances people’s quality of life. As a result, the internet has vast benefits to our world. Taking everything into consideration, without a doubt, the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. It is suggested that research and technology continue to develop and expand.
Recently, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
technologically
advanced, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
invention is the Internet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the Internet is not a significant invention,
however
, there is a substantial body of evidence that casts doubt in this belief. From a personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
of view, the Internet is an amazing discovery,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
that it has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on transportation, communication, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Below I will strive my supporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
points
in more detail.

The
first
and the foremost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
, The Internet has a great impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
that it opens a door to a wealth of information. A vivid example can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to shed a light on what
was elaborated
above is, schools in California implement the usage of the Internet in all the learning subjects.
Furthermore
, this approach broad students’ horizon and maximize the potential learning outcomes.
Consequently
, the Internet has a vast benefit on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
field.

Next
, coupled with Internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, better communication is another benefit of the Internet. In the past, there was no Internet, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
could not contact each other
easily
.
However
, the Internet has made the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
a global village;
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
that by the Internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Apps such as WhatsApp, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viber
to communicate with anyone at any place of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
;
moreover
, it
is cost
-effective.
In addition
to that, almost all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who access
Did you mean "we'd"?
wed
have social media accounts. Either on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram they connect their friends through means of “liking”, “sharing”, or “comments”.
Therefore
, internet communication has made sure to connect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from two sides of the earth with no problem at all.

Although the previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
points
are the
first
ones which cross the mind in a glance, they are not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
reasons available. There is another subtle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be born
on the mind. The Internet has made transportation easier than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Provided that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
data connection ability such as GPS to navigate their destinations, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
where they need to go.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the Phone App such as Google Maps to know the traffic condition in order to find the best routes to save time and gas. A recent survey conducted by the University of Toronto found that the Internet has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the commute time
drastically
which enhances
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
quality of life.
As a result
, the internet has vast benefits to our world.

Taking everything into consideration, without a doubt, the Internet provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
valuable information. It
is suggested
that research and technology continue to develop and expand.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay the internet provides people with valuable information, other think access to so much information creates problems? v. 112

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
431 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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