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In recent years, the structure of a family and the roles of its members are gradually changing. What kinds of changes can occur? Do you think these changes are positive or negative? v.1

In recent years, the structure of a family and the roles of its members are gradually changing. What kinds of changes can occur? Do you think these changes are positive or negative? v. 1
This is certain, that with the technical advancement and new achievements in the resources provided an opportunity to every person live and work in their way. It is totally agreeable that nowadays every man and woman have various types of choices from study to job, accomodation to car and much more. Regarding to choices if we compare with now and then, people these days can start up their own business with financial aid from the government or banks with less trouble, whereas in past people was tied to the king's rule and regulation. Moreover, industrialization also changed the consumption pattern of people and now people have different choices of food to full fill their diet. Further, the people of this period have a wide range to wear different culture clothes due to the globalization. Another thing people have is travel and tourism for entertainment and they have a chance to know other countries traditions. Importantly, education provided numerous streams to people to choose according to their interest. For instance - about 25 year ago 3D industries started emerging, but due to the high fees and expensive equipments like computers, much less people were able to afford it, however, now if we see the development in artificial intelligence reducing the prices of electronic devices make a huge difference for middle class society to find a right place in this industry. In conclusion, we can forecast that in future we will see more innovation, which lead to the reduction in pricing in luxurious items such as cars. Thus, choices for individuals will be tremendous
This is certain, that with the technical advancement and new achievements in the resources provided an opportunity to every person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and work in their way. It is
totally
agreeable that nowadays every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
and woman have various types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
from study to job,
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomodation
to car and much more.

The phrase 'Regarding to' is not correct. Use "Regarding" or "regard to".
Regarding to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
if we compare with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and then,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
these days can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
up their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business with financial aid from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
or banks with less trouble, whereas in past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
was tied
to the king's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
and regulation.
Moreover
, industrialization
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the consumption pattern of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
of food to full fill their diet.
Further
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of this period have a wide range to wear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
culture clothes due to the globalization. Another thing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have is travel and tourism for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
entertainment and
they have a chance to know other countries traditions.

Importantly
, education provided numerous streams to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to choose according to their interest.
For instance
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
about 25 year ago 3D industries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
emerging,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
due to the high fees and expensive equipments like computers, much
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun people is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were able to afford it,
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the development in artificial intelligence reducing the prices of electronic devices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a huge difference for middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
society to find a right place in this industry.

In conclusion
, we can forecast that in future we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
more innovation, which lead to the reduction
Adverb repetition. Please, verify.
in pricing in
luxurious items such as cars.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
for individuals will be tremendous
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In recent years, the structure of a family and the roles of its members are gradually changing. What kinds of changes can occur? Do you think these changes are positive or negative? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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