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Nowadays a lot of offices are being built an open plan design. Why is that? Do you see this as a positive or negative development? . Discuss your opinion and support your point of view with reasons and/or examples from your own experience or observations. v.1

Nowadays a lot of offices are being built an open plan design. Why is that? Do you see this as a positive or negative development? . Discuss your opinion and support your point of view with reasons and/or examples from your own experience or observations. v. 1
Many people have an opinion that it is necessary to get enrolled in a gym or fitness studio in order to make themselves fit and maintain an active lifestyle. However, some others contradict that just by doing regular activities effectively is enough to stay healthy and fit. Even though both arguments are valid depending on their own circumstances, I believe that there has to be proper guidance while performing exercises to attain a desired body shape which can be achieved by joining in a fitness centre. There are many people who are passionate about their physique and are willing spend both time and money in order achieve their desired body shapes. Fitness centre plays a vital role in these cases as they are equipped with state of the art machinery and also trainers with vast experience which can aid their members in achieving their fitness goals. For an instance, if an individual wants to compete in a bodybuilding championship, he needs to have a proper training along with strict diet which can be achieved only through gyms. Contradictory to this, for some people whose lifestyle includes a lot of physical activities like handling weights, cycling and they do not intend to have an appealing body structure to carry on with their daily chores. For example, the courier boys' work demands a lot of walking or climbing through the stairs. In addition to this, they manage to handle huge weights in the form of parcels that have to be delivered by them. For them, joining the gym is not necessary as their day to day activities itself burns the most calories and helps them to be fit and healthy. In conclusion, getting enrolled in fitness studios are not mandatory for everyone who wants to be healthy. However, if their requirement is to achieve body transformation, proper supervision is a must.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have an opinion that it is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
enrolled in a gym or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
studio in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
themselves fit and maintain an active lifestyle.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others contradict that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by doing regular activities
effectively
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to stay healthy and fit.
Even though
both arguments are valid depending on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
circumstances, I believe that there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be proper guidance while performing exercises to attain a desired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
shape which can
be achieved
by joining in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are passionate about their physique and are willing spend both time and money in order achieve their desired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
shapes.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Fitness
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
plays a vital role in these cases as they
are equipped
with
Did you mean "state-of-the-art"?
state of the art
machinery and
also
trainers with vast experience which can aid their members in achieving their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
goals. For an instance, if an individual wants to compete in a bodybuilding championship, he needs to have a proper training along with strict diet which can
be achieved
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
through gyms.

Contradictory to this, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
whose lifestyle includes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
physical activities like handling weights,
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
cycling and
they do not intend to have an appealing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
structure to carry on with their daily chores.
For example
, the courier boys' work demands
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
walking or climbing through the stairs.
In addition
to this, they manage to handle huge weights in the form of parcels that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be delivered
by them. For them, joining the gym is not necessary as their
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
activities itself burns the most calories and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to
be fit
and healthy.

In conclusion
, getting enrolled in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
studios are not mandatory for everyone who wants to be healthy.
However
, if their requirement is to achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
transformation, proper supervision is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays a lot of offices are being built an open plan design. Why is that? Do you see this as a positive or negative development? . Discuss your opinion and support your point of view with reasons and/or examples from your own experience or observations. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Nowadays a lot of offices are being built an open plan design. Why is that? Do you see this as a positive or negative development? . Discuss your opinion and support your point of view with reasons and/or examples from your own experience or observations. v.1