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TPO 5 - Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do rather than doing things they should do. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

TPO 5 - People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do rather than doing things they should do. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
In today’s progressive world we live, with the hectic life every one of us is experiencing, human beings’ demands and desires have changed drastically. While some people stand to reason that all of us have been created to accomplish one main goal-which is happiness-, others stand at the other side of this continuum and believe that life is not meant to be for mere pleasure. Personally speaking, I strongly hold the view that in today’s revolutionary era, comparing to actions that should be done, people consider their personal gratification as the main priority, the reasons of which will be vindicated in the following paragraphs. The first exquisite point to be mentioned is that having experienced the hustle and bustle of life, nowadays people are looking for a means of escape in order to feel a sense of relief. Today’s new generation assume that life is unbelievably short and most of them stigmatize individuals torturing themselves to gain more money at the expense of ignoring their joy and happiness. Having interviewed various groups of people with a diverse age range, Thomas Adam, a sociologist at Arizona State University, has found that both the old and the new generations unanimously agreed upon this very fact that humankind has been created to be filled with happiness and nothing is better than enjoying one’s life in the way that it is meant to be. Although people at every corner of the globe are experiencing economical pressure which makes them work twice as harder as they had before, most of them turn a blind eye to this unforgiving situation and as a result they prefer to have a life fused with pleasure and ecstasy. The second equally significant reason which is worth mentioning is the idea that with the advancement in technology and equipment facilitating our lives, earning money is not as hard as it used to be. If there were a time machine through which we could observe centuries ago, it would be apparent that easy money was not paid to anyone at that time. However, with the genesis of technology and the internet particularly, people can earn money easily and effortlessly with no special training or expertise; the so-called e-marketing phenomenon, for instance, in which there is no toil and hardship. This is the reason that people’s desire and needs have dramatically changed compared to people from the preceding descendants for whom a number of other priorities than pleasure and joy existed. To put it in a more vivid picture, when my grandfather was told that I spent more than half of my savings on a simple trip to Russia in order to participate and watch the World Cup competition, he astoundingly asked me the reason and when I said, “I just wanted to have fun”, he became even more surprised. It sounds as though people in this era are more inclined to do things for their own pleasure, rather than things they should be doing. To conclude, considering the above-mentioned reasons, people assume life is not about doing things contrary to what one really wants. They spend more time on their personal enjoyment activities rather than their obligatory actions, because of the changes emerged not only at people’s lifestyle but also the changes in the way people earn their subsistence.
In
today
’s progressive world we
live
, with the hectic
life
every one of us is experiencing, human beings’ demands and desires have
changed
drastically
. While
some
people
stand to
reason
that all of us have
been created
to accomplish one main goal-which is happiness-, others stand at the other side of this continuum and believe that
life
is not meant to be for mere
pleasure
.
Personally
speaking, I
strongly
hold the view that in
today
’s revolutionary era, comparing to actions that should
be done
,
people
consider their personal gratification as the main priority, the
reasons
of which will
be vindicated
in the following paragraphs.

The
first
exquisite point to
be mentioned
is that having experienced the hustle and bustle of
life
, nowadays
people
are looking for a means of escape in order to feel a sense of relief.
Today
’s new generation assume that
life
is
unbelievably
short and most of them stigmatize individuals torturing themselves to gain more
money
at the expense of ignoring their joy and happiness. Having interviewed various groups of
people
with a diverse age range, Thomas Adam, a sociologist at Arizona State University, has found that both the
old
and the new generations
unanimously
agreed
upon this
very
fact that humankind has
been created
to
be filled
with happiness and nothing is better than enjoying one’s
life
in the way that it
is meant
to be. Although
people
at every corner of the globe are experiencing economical pressure which
makes
them work twice as
harder
as they had
before
, most of them turn a blind eye to this unforgiving situation and
as a result
they prefer to have a
life
fused with
pleasure
and ecstasy.

The second
equally
significant
reason
which is worth mentioning is the
idea
that with the advancement in technology and equipment facilitating our
lives
, earning
money
is not as
hard
as it
used
to be. If there were a time machine through which we could observe centuries ago, it would be apparent that easy
money
was not paid to anyone at that time.
However
, with the genesis of technology and the internet
particularly
,
people
can earn
money
easily
and
effortlessly
with no special training or expertise; the
so
-called e-marketing phenomenon,
for instance
, in which there is no toil and hardship. This is the
reason
that
people’s
desire and needs have
dramatically
changed
compared to
people
from the preceding descendants for whom a number of other priorities than
pleasure
and joy existed. To put it in a more vivid picture, when my grandfather was
told
that I spent more than half of my savings on a simple trip to Russia in order to participate and
watch
the World Cup competition, he
astoundingly
asked me the
reason
and when I said, “I
just
wanted to have fun”, he became even more surprised. It sounds as though
people
in this era are more inclined to do things for their
own
pleasure
,
rather
than things they should be doing.

To conclude
, considering the above-mentioned
reasons
,
people
assume
life
is not about doing things contrary to what one
really
wants. They spend more time on their personal enjoyment activities
rather
than their obligatory actions,
because
of the
changes
emerged not
only
at
people’s
lifestyle
but
also
the
changes
in the way
people
earn their subsistence.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 5 - People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do rather than doing things they should do. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
548 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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