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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment doing things they like to do rather than doing things they should do Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v.2

People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment doing things they like to do rather than doing things they should do Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 2
there is great debate about about " style=" color: rgb(85, 85, 85); font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap; " > individuals spend time on personal delight instead of things they should do. Despite the fact, there are differing opinions. Some people think that doing personal enjoyment can help to improve the efficiency of their work. Other people, however, argue that it is beneficial in many ways for people to not expect doing things they like because it is not possible. I, myself, agree with the first argue. In this essay, I will address three potential benefit of doing personal enjoyment. first of all, When a person does things, she or he delight to do it, as a result, the performance will be higher and the output will be much effective. For example, my friends likes to do music very much, but his parents forced him to do professional sports. Although he is doing what they wanted but he is not happy and doesn’t care that much about performance. May be, If they let him to work on music, he would get more successful. second, continuously individuals spend more vitality and time for things they like to do instead of things they don’t like. as a result, individuals are would appreciate their time time " style=" color: rgb(85, 85, 85); font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap; " > whereas they are doing things they like. For occasion, One of my friends always in office attempt to finish their errands which doesn’t like and begi n what she incline toward to do. To sum up, I believe doing what you pleased to do is much effective and more beneficial. this is why always we should do what we like to do. in differentiate, doing things with you appreciate would bring up your vitality, and unquestionably, he or she would spend more time to do it which is positive see. Hence, this see is much superior.
there
is great debate
about about
&quot
; style=
&quot
; color:
rgb
(85, 85, 85); font-size: 14px; white-space:
pre-wrap
;
&quot
;
&gt
; individuals spend
time
on personal delight
instead
of things they should do. Despite the fact, there are differing opinions.
Some
people
think
that
doing
personal enjoyment can
help
to
improve
the efficiency of their work. Other
people
,
however
, argue that it is beneficial in
many
ways for
people
to not
expect
doing
things they like
because
it is not possible. I, myself,
agree
with the
first
argue.

In this essay, I will address three potential benefit of
doing
personal enjoyment.

first of all
, When a person does things, she or he
delight
to do it,
as a result
, the performance will be higher and the output will be
much
effective.
For example
, my friends likes to do music
very
much
,
but
his parents forced him to do professional sports. Although he is
doing
what they wanted
but
he is not happy and doesn’t care that
much
about performance. May be, If they
let
him to work on music, he would
get
more successful.

second
,
continuously
individuals spend more vitality and
time
for things they like to do
instead
of things they don’t like.

as
a result, individuals are would appreciate their
time
time
&quot
; style=
&quot
; color:
rgb
(85, 85, 85); font-size: 14px; white-space:
pre-wrap
;
&quot
;
&gt
; whereas they are
doing
things they like. For occasion, One of my friends always in office attempt to finish their errands which doesn’t like and
begi


n
what she
incline
toward to do.

To sum up, I believe
doing
what you
pleased
to do is
much
effective and more beneficial.
this
is why always we should
do


what
we like to do. in differentiate,
doing
things with you appreciate would bring up your vitality, and
unquestionably
, he or she would spend more
time
to do it which is
positive
see
.
Hence
, this
see
is
much
superior.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Mistakes

IELTS essay People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment doing things they like to do rather than doing things they should do Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 2

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
319 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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