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Fossil fuels(e. g. coals, oil and gas) are the main source of energy for most countries however, alternative source of energy (e. g. wind and solar) have been encouraged to be used by some countries. To what extent is this a positive or negative development? v.2

Fossil fuels(e. g. coals, oil and gas) are the main source of energy for most countries however, alternative source of energy (e. g. wind and solar) have been encouraged to be used by some countries. v. 2
Although, fossil fuels are the most essential source of energy for most countries in the world, wind, solar, nuclear and other kind of recyclable energy can easily provide needs of some countries which have immense source of them naturally. In my point of view usage of these natural resources can be beneficial environmentally and economically. In the following paragraphs, I will pinpoint some of these advantages. First, fossil fuels produce some toxic pollutant like mercury which contaminate water and air so they enter to food chain and endanger human, plants and animals health. Wind and solar energy not only do not pollute the environment, but also are endless source of energy. Fossil fuels make more energy but eventually they end that is why scientist always encourage us to use them to stay for the future. Each area according to environmental condition can use recyclable energy. For instance some countries which have sunny weather most of the time in a year can use solar panels or some countries which are windy most of the time can use wind turbine for making electricity. Second, although, sales of fossil fuels like oil and gas is one of the source of income for some countries, I believe that countries which have less fossil fuels are richer. Dependency on the sales of oil distract government’s attention to other abilities and wealth of country. Earning money from some sources like agricultural products, tourism and other industry can be more beneficial, because they are available for longer period and they make jobs for some people which are more useful economically. For example, Iran have unprecedented natural and historical places where can attract tourists plus different weather in different area which enable farmers to cultivate different products. To wrap it up, usage of alternative source of energy like wind, solar and nuclear can be a positive development for countries environmentally and economically.
Although,
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fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
are the most essential
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source
of
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energy
for most
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countries
in the world,
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wind
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solar
, nuclear and other kind of recyclable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
can
easily
provide needs of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which have immense
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source
of them
naturally
. In my point of view usage of these natural resources can be beneficial
environmentally
and
economically
. In the following paragraphs, I will pinpoint
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of these advantages.

First
,
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fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
produce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
toxic pollutant like mercury which contaminate water and air
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they enter to food chain and endanger human, plants and animals health.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Wind
and
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solar
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energy
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do not pollute the environment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
are endless
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source
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
.
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Fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more
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energy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
eventually
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
that is
why scientist always encourage us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them to stay for the future. Each area according to environmental condition can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
recyclable
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energy
.
For instance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which have sunny weather most of the time in a year can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
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solar
panels or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which are windy most of the time can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wind
turbine for making electricity.

Second, although, sales of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
like oil and gas is one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of income for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which have less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
are richer. Dependency on the sales of oil distract
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
’s attention to other abilities and wealth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Earning money from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
like agricultural products, tourism and other industry can be more beneficial,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are available for longer
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
period and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
jobs for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
which are more useful
economically
.
For example
, Iran have unprecedented natural and historical places where can attract tourists plus
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
weather in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
area which enable farmers to cultivate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
products.

To wrap it up, usage of alternative
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source
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wind
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solar
and nuclear can be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
environmentally
and
economically
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay Fossil fuels(e. g. coals, oil and gas) are the main source of energy for most countries however, alternative source of energy (e. g. wind and solar) have been encouraged to be used by some countries. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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