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TPO 45In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives. v.2

TPO 45In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives. v. 2
Making decision is an important part of our life from child hood, and It is advisable to consult with an appropriate person. Some people claim that parents' role was not more noticeable as guider in the past in compare with the present time, but I do not think so. I feel this way for 3 main reasons which I will explore in the following essay. Firstly, having limit knowledge among younger persons was common in the past. For example, my father grew in a town and did not access to school. As a result, it was clear that he relied on his parents experiences for choosing among complicated situations. The second cause may referred to the development of technology these days. Having up-date sources of information make it possible for us to obtain many awareness by clicking on our computer' s keyboard only in a few second. By having enough knowledge, we reach to self-confidence for selecting suitable conditions, and less dependence to our mothers and fathers. Last, appearing various field of sciences and society' need to being professional in a certain matters bring us the opportunities for consulting with expert persons. In all, what drives someone to think that parents have pale part in children' making decision process, may fall in to 3 main categories including low level of their knowledge, our developing world, and need to expert ones in each fields.
Making decision is an
important
part of our life from child hood, and It is advisable to consult with an appropriate person.
Some
people
claim that
parents&
#039; role was not more noticeable as guider in the past in compare with the present time,
but
I do not
think
so
. I feel this way for 3 main reasons which I will explore in the following essay.

Firstly
, having limit knowledge among younger persons was common in the past.
For example
, my father grew in a town and did not access to school.
As a result
, it was
clear
that he relied on his parents experiences for choosing among complicated situations.

The second cause may referred to the development of technology these days. Having up-date sources of information
make
it possible for us to obtain
many awareness
by clicking on our
computer&
#039; s keyboard
only
in a few second. By having
enough
knowledge, we reach to self-confidence for selecting suitable conditions, and less dependence to our mothers and fathers.

Last, appearing various field of sciences and
society&
#039; need to being professional in a certain matters bring us the opportunities for consulting with expert persons.

In all, what drives someone to
think
that parents have pale part in
children&
#039; making decision process, may fall in to 3 main categories including low level of their knowledge, our developing world, and need to expert ones in each
fields
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 45In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
233 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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