Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

A country s future depends on its young people Therefore it is argued that the government should invest heavily in its youth Do you agree or disagree v.1

A country s future depends on its young people Therefore it is argued that the government should invest heavily in its youth v. 1
It is argued by some individuals that state must spend money in youngsters of the nation because country’s forthcoming hang on them. I agree and believe that presence of younger generation has essential role in various fields and without youth, these fields are incompetent for any nation. Firstly, youth participation in nations building is essential to grow the nation. There are a plethora of reasons why youth participation is must to build the nation strong. Firstly, in army where youths are required most and without army support no nation can develop self-defense and control their law and order. Secondly, in sports, youngsters are needed most to participate in different games and win games in the name of nation, which bring pride and honor for the country. For instance, Australia is the richest nation in sports because they encourage their children in games participation at very young age. Secondly, youngsters are considered the backbone of a nation. The economy of a nation and industrial development depends on qualified and trained youngsters. Presence of specialist such as doctors and engineers are highly required in any nation to support the health and industrial sector of a nation. In other words, without these young individuals no nation can stay competent and strong for upcoming generations as these young talent in future will become scientist and work for the development of society in many ways. As per the survey, India and China are most competent nations in the upcoming world and they invest almost 70 percent of its budget in young individuals. In conclusion, the youth requirement is most in any country because of the above mentioned reasons, therefore, government must invest in young individuals’ to become strong and competent nation in various field.
It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals that state
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
spend money in youngsters of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
country’s forthcoming hang on them. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
and believe that presence of younger generation has essential role in various fields and without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
, these fields are incompetent for any nation.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
participation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
building is essential to grow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. There are a plethora of reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
participation is
After 'must', the verb is used without 'to'. Probably, you should use "must" or "have to" here.
must to
build the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
strong.
Firstly
, in army where youths
are required
most and without army support no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
can develop self-defense and control their law and order.
Secondly
, in sports, youngsters
are needed
most to participate in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
games and win games in the name of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
, which bring pride and honor for the country.
For instance
, Australia is the richest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
in sports
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they encourage their children in games participation at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
age.

Secondly
, youngsters
are considered
the backbone of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. The economy of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
and industrial development depends on qualified and trained youngsters. Presence of specialist such as doctors and engineers are
highly
required in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
to support the health and industrial sector of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
In other words
, without these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
individuals no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
can stay competent and strong for upcoming generations as these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
talent in future will become scientist and work for the development of society in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. As per the survey, India and China are
Did you mean "the most"?
most
competent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
in the upcoming
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
world and
they invest almost 70 percent of its budget in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
individuals.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
requirement is most in any country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the above mentioned reasons,
therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
invest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
individuals’ to become strong and competent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
in various field.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay A country s future depends on its young people Therefore it is argued that the government should invest heavily in its youth v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts