Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

New parents should attend parenting classes to learn how to bring up their children well. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give your opinion, supported by examples from your own experience. v.1

New parents should attend parenting classes to learn how to bring up their children well. with the statement? Give your opinion, supported by examples from your own experience. v. 1
it is sometimes argued that, for the better brought up of a child, modern parents are required to take a parenting course. personally, I partly share the same view with this idea. this essay will discuss how it can help parents in raising their offsprings in the forthcoming paragraph, followed by the reasoned conclusion. To begin with, there are several rationales to support this point of view. On the first hand, early childcare settings and ways, affect children' s long-term development. so, parents as the primary caregivers are required to have necessary babysitting skills, so that they can give their child an effective brought up. For instance, a recent study conducted at Oxford university, recorded that 1 in 3 children would refuse to comply with their parent' s rules if they did not agree with them so university, initiated a government level program and lobbied young parents to educate them key parenting techniques. Consequently, that resulted in dramatic improvement in the way parents deals with their pupil and in the behavior of offsprings. Secondly, child who grow-up under proper parental care, posses best personality traits, viz. positive character, optimism, confidence, discipline, self-direction, communication skills. On the contrary, if parents are not enough trained to raise the pupils effectively. Then, offspring may lack in their ability to deal with life problems. Moreover, such children are more prone to failure as the upbringing method of caregivers was not as effective. To conclude, I am inclined to restate that such positive steps are required and should be taken to see better developmental outcomes in the children.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
argued that, for the better brought up of a child, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are required
to take a parenting course.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
personally
, I partly share the same view with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
essay will discuss how it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in raising their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
in the forthcoming paragraph, followed by the reasoned conclusion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are several rationales to support this point of view. On the
first
hand, early childcare settings and ways, affect
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s long-term development.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as the primary caregivers
are required
to have necessary babysitting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can give their child an effective brought up.
For instance
, a recent study conducted at Oxford university, recorded that 1 in 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would refuse to comply with their
Possible spelling mistake found.
parent&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
if they did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
university, initiated a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
level program and lobbied young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to educate them key parenting techniques.
Consequently
, that resulted in dramatic improvement in the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
deals with their pupil and in the behavior of
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
.
Secondly
, child who grow-up under proper parental care,
A determiner is probably missing here: "posses the best".
posses best
personality traits, viz.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
character, optimism, confidence, discipline, self-direction, communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

On the contrary
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
trained to raise the pupils
effectively
. Then, offspring may lack in their ability to deal with life problems.
Moreover
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are more prone to failure as the upbringing method of caregivers was not as effective.

To conclude
, I
am inclined
to restate that such
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
steps
are required
and should
be taken
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
better developmental outcomes in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay New parents should attend parenting classes to learn how to bring up their children well. with the statement? Give your opinion, supported by examples from your own experience. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts