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TPO 43 - Question 5The speakers discuss two possible solutions to their problem. Briefly summarize the problem. Then state which solution you prefer and explain why. v.1

TPO 43 - Question 5The speakers discuss two possible solutions to their problem. Briefly summarize the problem. Then state which solution you prefer and explain why. v. 1
Apart from government, people of influence in the society give opinions on several issues in the public sector, which can either affect the community positively or negatively. Several thoughts have it that popular persons give their suggestions on things that make the news and this could either go right or wrong. This essay will support that it is good for such people have their say when it matters. Firstly, people who are popular are well respected in their community and country at large, and even some are all over the world and their take on an issue that concerns others really matters. When they give opinions, everyone is usually affected either positively or negatively. For example, If Warren Buffet, a wealthy investor decides to withdraw his support or stake in a particular company, most likely the company may fold up. This shows the level of authority he has over companies and how his decision can affect several others. Secondly, political leaders who are either elected into power or are the oppositions. The level of their take on public decisions can not be underestimated. They have several followers who can influence their own community to follow the instruction of their political leader. For example, such leaders can sway their followers to lead a riot against the government and these ones would take up arms, begin to protest against a decision made by the authorities and in the process damage properties. In conclusion, persons in the society who can influence the happenings in their locality should be seen as a good leader who can help the authorities to make better decisions and not one whose decision can affect the entire society for bad.
Apart from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of influence in the society give opinions on several issues in the public sector, which can either affect the community
positively
or
negatively
. Several thoughts have it that popular persons give their suggestions on things that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the news and this could either go right or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. This essay will support that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have their say when it matters.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are popular are well respected in their community and country at large, and even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are all over the world and their take on an issue that concerns others
really
matters. When they give opinions, everyone is
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
either
positively
or
negatively
.
For example
, If Warren Buffet, a wealthy investor decides to withdraw his support or stake in a particular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, most likely the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
may fold up. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the level of authority he has over
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and how his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
can affect several others.

Secondly
, political
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are either elected into power or are the oppositions. The level of their take on public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
can not
be underestimated
. They have several followers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can influence their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
community to follow the instruction of their political
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
.
For example
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
can sway their followers to lead a riot against the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
This phrase is probably grammatically incorrect. Write "these" instead.
these ones
would take up arms,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to protest against a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
made by the authorities and in the process damage properties.

In conclusion
, persons in the society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can influence the happenings in their locality should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the authorities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
and not one whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
can affect the entire society for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay TPO 43 - Question 5The speakers discuss two possible solutions to their problem. Briefly summarize the problem. Then state which solution you prefer and explain why. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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