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The speakers discuss two possible solutions to the woman’s problem. Briefly summarize the problem. Then state which solution you prefer and why. v.7

The speakers discuss two possible solutions to the woman’s problem. Briefly summarize the problem. Then state which solution you prefer and why. v. 7
Many people think that happiness is very hard to explain. This is because people have different thoughts, and there are many elements that demonstrate happiness. There are various reasons why people feel hard to define, but I believe it is because the way of people’s thinking is different. People grow up in different living conditions, such as being raised in a strict family or living in liberal conditions. Diverse living environment affects the way of their thinking, which influences their definition of joy. If you were raised in a close-knit family, your criteria for explaining joy definitely is a family. For example, I live in a harmonious family and I feel happy when my family spends time together. In my opinion, the important factors that determine happiness are money, friends and health conditions. There are several important factors that determine happiness. Firstly, money is an essential factor in life, because without money we cannot do anything, like paying for the bills. In Korea, people usually say “Home is a happy place”, but unless you have enough money, you cannot enjoy your “happy place”. Secondly, “friend” is a significant factor of pleasure. When you share the joy with your friends, it doubles. Lastly, health is the element of pleasure. If you got serious diseases, you could not enjoy your life. For instance, you cannot live a normal life or you may suffer pain in a whole day. In conclusion, because of the diversity of thinking, people define happiness in many ways. However, I think the financial condition, friends and health are the elements of happiness.
Many
people
think
that
happiness
is
very
hard
to
explain
. This is
because
people
have
different
thoughts, and there are
many
elements that demonstrate happiness.

There are various reasons why
people
feel
hard
to define,
but
I believe it is
because
the way of
people’s
thinking is
different
.
People
grow up in
different
living conditions, such as
being raised
in a strict
family
or living in liberal conditions. Diverse living environment affects the way of their thinking, which influences their definition of joy. If you
were raised
in a close-knit
family
, your criteria for explaining joy definitely is a
family
.
For example
, I
live
in a harmonious
family
and I feel happy when my
family
spends time together.

In my opinion, the
important
factors
that determine
happiness
are
money
,
friends
and health conditions. There are several
important
factors
that determine
happiness
.
Firstly
,
money
is an essential
factor
in life,
because
without
money
we cannot do anything, like paying for the bills. In Korea,
people
usually
say “Home is a happy place”,
but
unless you have
enough
money
, you cannot enjoy your “happy place”.
Secondly
,
“friend”
is a significant
factor
of pleasure. When you share the joy with your
friends
, it doubles.
Lastly
, health is the element of pleasure. If you
got
serious diseases, you could not enjoy your life.
For instance
, you cannot
live
a normal life or you may suffer pain in a whole day.

In conclusion
,
because
of the diversity of thinking,
people
define
happiness
in
many
ways.
However
, I
think
the financial
condition
,
friends
and health are the elements of
happiness
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The speakers discuss two possible solutions to the woman’s problem. Briefly summarize the problem. Then state which solution you prefer and why. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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