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TPO 42 - Question 2Some people prefer living in a big city. Other people prefer living in the countryside, away from urban areas. Which do you think is better? Explain why using specific details in your explanation. v.1

TPO 42 - Question 2Some people prefer living in a big city. Other people prefer living in the countryside, away from urban areas. Which do you think is better? Explain why using specific details in your explanation. v. 1
Formal schooling for the young is of immense significance for a country’s socioeconomic development, however, some people are convinced that more money should be allocated for educating illiterate adults. I agree with this view to some extent and will analyse the issue in the following essay. On the one hand, government budgets in many countries, particularly in underdeveloped and developing nations, are limited. Therefore, if more funding is spent on improving adult literacy rates, the education of children and adolescents may suffer as a consequence of less funding. Eventually, maintaining a suitable level and quality of education, for both children and illiterate adults, may become an impossible task with limited funding, possibly negatively affecting the education of both groups. However, due to a decrease in the number of blue-collar jobs, thanks to automatic processes, a large number of illiterate adults who work in such positions are being made redundant, and therefore increasing the unemployment rate due to their lack of literacy skills when searching for other types of work. This situation not only reduces the standard of living for many people, but is also an underlying motive for a rise in social problems, such as crime, homelessness, and poverty. Providing formal schooling for adults who cannot read or write proves to be a useful measure to reduce the negative consequences that may occur in a society with high levels of adult illiteracy. In conclusion, state funding may not allow an adequate amount of money for the education of both the youth and adults to take effect. However, I still believe that if more money is spent on educating illiterate adults, social welfare in such regions will benefit tremendously.
Formal schooling for the young is of immense significance for a country’s socioeconomic development,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are convinced
that more money should
be allocated
for educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illiterate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent and will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the issue in the following essay.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
budgets in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries,
particularly
in underdeveloped and developing nations,
are limited
.
Therefore
, if more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
funding
is spent
on improving adult literacy rates, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of children and adolescents may suffer as a consequence of less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
funding
.
Eventually
, maintaining a suitable level and quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, for both children and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illiterate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
, may become an impossible task with limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
funding
,
possibly
negatively
affecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of both groups.

However
, due to a decrease in the number of blue-collar jobs, thanks to automatic processes,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illiterate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
who work in such positions are
being made
redundant, and
therefore
increasing the unemployment rate due to their lack of literacy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
when searching for other types of work. This situation not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the standard of living for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
is
also
an underlying motive for a rise in social problems, such as crime, homelessness, and poverty. Providing formal schooling for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
who cannot read or write proves to be a useful measure to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences that may occur in a society with high levels of adult illiteracy.

In conclusion
, state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
funding
may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
an adequate amount of money for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of both the youth and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
to take effect.
However
, I
still
believe that if more money
is spent
on educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illiterate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
, social welfare in such regions will benefit
tremendously
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 42 - Question 2Some people prefer living in a big city. Other people prefer living in the countryside, away from urban areas. Which do you think is better? Explain why using specific details in your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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