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Some people say that to be successful in sport it is more important to be physically strong. Others argue that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people say that to be successful in sport it is more important to be physically strong. Others argue that mental strength is more important. v. 1
In recent years, there has been a vast increase in the number of people using cars as a means of transportation. Studies reveal that the first car was found on British Road in 1888, after which the number of cars rose dramatically to approximately 29 million over 112 years. The argument of whether or not car ownership should be limited and alternative forms of transport should be brought about has sparked a heated debate. With the invention of cars, human lives have irrefutably been made easier. It is inarguable that cars have forever altered the world of transportation. However, I believe that while there are many advantages to cars, they do not come without some drawbacks. One that is evident in all parts of the world is the traffic congestion in regards to the overwhelming number of cars. It is also undeniable that cars have contributed not little to the pollution of air owing to the gas that they emit. As such, bicycles will serve as a great alternative to cars, as they do not cost much and also cause less pollution. Thus, I contend that the usage of bicycles should be encouraged. Cities that have many rivers and lakes can easily introduce boats for public transportation. Again, public buses, trams, and rails could be some good alternatives as they can carry a large number of people at a time and thus can potentially decrease the traffic jam, pollution and fuel crisis. It can also save foreign exchange by reducing fuel consumption. In conclusion, I believe that the government ought to limit the ownership of cars in a bid to lessen air pollution and solve traffic congestion problems and encourage more people to travel by bicycle in their place.
In recent years, there has been a vast increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
as a means of transportation. Studies reveal that the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
was found
on British Road in 1888, after which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
rose
dramatically
to approximately 29 million over 112 years. The argument of
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
ownership should
be limited
and alternative forms of transport should
be brought
about has sparked a heated debate.

With the invention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
have
irrefutably
been made
easier. It is inarguable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
have forever altered the world of transportation.
However
, I believe that while there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
without
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks. One
that is
evident in all parts of the world is the traffic congestion
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
in regards to
the overwhelming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. It is
also
undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
have contributed not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
of air owing to the gas that they emit.

As such, bicycles will serve as a great alternative to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, as they do not cost much and
also
cause less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
.
Thus
, I contend that the usage of bicycles should
be encouraged
. Cities that have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
rivers and lakes can
easily
introduce boats for public transportation. Again, public buses, trams, and rails could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
alternatives as they can carry a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
at a time and
thus
can
potentially
decrease the traffic jam,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and fuel crisis. It can
also
save foreign exchange by reducing fuel consumption.

In conclusion
, I believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
ought to limit the ownership of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
in a bid to lessen air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and solve traffic congestion problems and encourage more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to travel by bicycle in their place.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that to be successful in sport it is more important to be physically strong. Others argue that mental strength is more important. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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