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TPO 38 Writing IndependentDo you agree or disagree with the following statement? Leadership comes naturally: one cannot learn to be a leader. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

TPO 38 Writing Independent Leadership comes naturally: one cannot learn to be a leader. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
Since the dawn of civilization, different groups have been formed in various levels of society with certain goals among which a certain person or group has a special duty to manage the people and the activities. As we know, such people are called leaders who usually put certain decisions into action and cope with the problems in a group, organization or society. Certain characteristics are considered indispensable for a leader such as management, determination, tenacity, etc. In this regard, some people are inclined toward the fact that to have such qualities a person should inherently have such qualities and thus it is almost impossible for others to become a leader while others hold exactly the opposite view. I personally believe that it is possible that one learns to be a leader. In what follows, I will elaborate on my idea through two significant reasons. First of all, no one can' t deny the fact that the nurturing process in every individual' s life has a great impact on the person' s traits. The very activities and the experiences in childhood and afterward the experiences at schools have a great impact on the person' s desires, views, and most importantly personality. Through playing games with friends, a child can learn certain things that he can either be a leader or the person who obeys the rules. Also, he would be familiar with the responsibilities of a leader. But, the external factors may lead him to prefer each of the roles. Moreover, at school, he can learn to practice the abilities with the school activities. Besides, the students can experience and practice being a leader when assigned by their teacher to be a leader of a group. The experiences, the activities and the results they see in such activities, form the student’s attitude and skill about the leadership. Moreover, in addition to the experiences in the person' s early life, certain courses in the schools and universities which are taught by knowledgeable and experienced people can have a conspicuous influence on everyone who aims to be a leader. A case in point is one of my uncles. He used to be a reserved guy who always avoided taking responsibilities let alone leading a number of people when he was a teenager. After entering the university in his favorite major, mechanical engineering, he created new designs of a certain machine, which won many awards. Soon, he became passionate about running a new company related to his field. But, this time rather than passing on the responsibilities of management to someone else, he thought of himself as a leader. By attending many workshops and other activities, he achieved the qualities and after the establishment of his company, he started to flourish as a great manager and leader. To recapitulate, all aforementioned reasons lead us to the fact that one can learn to be a leader and we can' t necessarily conclude that all leaders were naturally qualified for such a role. Although the fact that certain qualities are innate in people and these qualities play significant roles in the qualification of a leader, the fact that these qualities can be raised in the individuals in the young age, or be transferred through academic courses almost dismisses the fact that leadership should come naturally.
Since the dawn of civilization,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
have
been formed
in various levels of society with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
goals among which a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
has a special duty to manage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. As we know, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are called
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
usually
put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
decisions into action and cope with the problems in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
, organization or society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Certain
characteristics
are considered
indispensable for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
such as management, determination, tenacity, etc. In this regard,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are inclined
toward the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that to have such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
should
inherently
have such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
and
thus
it is almost impossible for others to become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
while others hold exactly the opposite view. I
personally
believe that it is possible that one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learns
to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
. In what follows, I will elaborate on my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
through two significant reasons.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, no one
Possible spelling mistake found.
can&
#039; t deny the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that the nurturing process in every
Possible spelling mistake found.
individual&
#039; s life has a great impact on the
Possible spelling mistake found.
person&
#039; s traits. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
in childhood and afterward the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have a great impact on the
Possible spelling mistake found.
person&
#039; s desires, views, and most
importantly
personality. Through playing games with friends, a child can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
things that he can either be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
obeys the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.
Also
, he would be familiar with the responsibilities of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, the external factors may lead him to prefer each of the roles.
Moreover
, at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, he can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to practice the abilities with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
Besides
, the students can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and practice being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
when assigned by their teacher to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and the results they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, form the student’s attitude and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
about the leadership.

Moreover
,
in addition
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
person&
#039; s early life,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
courses in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and universities which
are taught
by knowledgeable and experienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can have a conspicuous influence on everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
aims to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
. A case in point is one of my uncles. He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be a reserved guy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
always avoided taking responsibilities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
alone leading a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
when he was a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
. After entering the university in his favorite major, mechanical engineering, he created new designs of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
machine, which won
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
awards.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Soon
, he became passionate about running a new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
related to his field.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, this time
rather
than passing on the responsibilities of management to someone else, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of himself as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
. By attending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
workshops and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, he achieved the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
and after the establishment of his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to flourish as a great manager and leader.

To recapitulate, all aforementioned reasons lead us to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that one can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to be a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
leader and
we
Possible spelling mistake found.
can&
#039; t
necessarily
conclude that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
were
naturally
qualified for such a role. Although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
are innate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
play significant roles in the qualification of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
can
be raised
in the individuals in the young age, or
be transferred
through academic courses almost dismisses the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that leadership should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
naturally
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
72Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 38 Writing Independent Leadership comes naturally: one cannot learn to be a leader. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
549 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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