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TOEFL essay: People remember special gifts or presents that they have received. Why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

TOEFL essay: People remember special gifts or presents that they have received. Why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
In today’s societies, the question of why everyone remember the specific presents that they have received has become a controversial issue among a people in many circles and camps. Different people have a various type of responses to this topic based on their cultural, economical, social, or even familial backgrounds. However, as far as I’m concerned, I think that people can recall their special gifts for some reasons that I elaborate in the following paragraphs. To begin with, specific gifts is a special for someone who received them. Scientist are concurred that when some special things happen to some one such as receiving fantastic gifts, watching great movie, having prefect date, or seeing admirable sport event, these pleasant things go to the particular part of his memory. Therefore, these can last longer than other ones in his mind. let’s make a brief explanation about that. For example, I remember that when I was conducting a survey as a student on the astonishing effect of special date on the memory of people, I became surprised when I found out that this date can be left at least 10 times more than ordinary one in students’ memory. Thus, one might say that being special is a key factor for lasting in someone memory. Another noteworthy aspect that should be mentioned is that it maybe evoke a good memory of extremely pleasant moment. The most conspicuous aspect of special gift is that a person’s mind associated it with attractive event. As a result, he remembers that gift for a long time. Let me shed a light on my point. For instance, if someone takes a something as a reward, even an inexpensive one, on his school for his effort on the students’ welfare, this gift will be last in his mind because it causes to remind a very appealing day one his childhood. Consequently, anyone can think that people remember some gifts because they help them to remind some astounding events. In conclusion, there are a plenty of reasons for remember a specific present. Not only, memory is inclined to remember special thing more easily and for longer time. But also, this kind of gifts evoke a favorable memory to someone, and because of that memory this gifts have been remembered. Hence, people always remember their particular presents.
In
today
’s societies, the question of why everyone
remember
the specific presents that they have received has become a controversial issue among a
people
in
many
circles and camps.
Different
people
have a various type of responses to this topic based on their cultural, economical, social, or even familial backgrounds.
However
, as far as I’m concerned, I
think
that
people
can recall their
special
gifts
for
some
reasons that I elaborate in the following paragraphs.

To
begin
with, specific
gifts
is a
special
for
someone
who received them. Scientist
are concurred
that when
some
special
things happen to
some one
such as receiving fantastic
gifts
, watching great movie, having prefect date, or seeing admirable sport
event
, these pleasant things go to the particular part of his
memory
.
Therefore
, these can last longer than other ones in his mind.
let
’s
make
a brief explanation about that.
For example
, I
remember
that when I was conducting a survey as a student on the astonishing effect of
special
date on the
memory
of
people
, I became surprised when I found out that this date can be
left
at least 10 times more than ordinary one in students’
memory
.
Thus
, one might say that being
special
is a key factor for lasting in
someone
memory.

Another noteworthy aspect that should
be mentioned
is that it maybe evoke a
good
memory
of
extremely
pleasant moment. The most conspicuous aspect of
special
gift
is that a person’s mind associated it with attractive
event
.
As a result
, he
remembers
that
gift
for a long time.
Let
me shed a light on my point.
For instance
, if
someone
takes a something as a reward, even an inexpensive one, on his school for his effort on the students’ welfare, this
gift
will be last in his mind
because
it causes to remind a
very
appealing day one his childhood.
Consequently
, anyone can
think
that
people
remember
some
gifts
because
they
help
them to remind
some
astounding
events
.

In conclusion
, there are a
plenty
of reasons for
remember
a specific present. Not
only
,
memory
is inclined
to
remember
special
thing more
easily
and for longer time.
But
also
, this kind of
gifts
evoke a favorable
memory
to
someone
, and
because
of that
memory
this
gifts
have
been remembered
.
Hence
,
people
always
remember
their particular presents.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay TOEFL essay: People remember special gifts or presents that they have received. Why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
385 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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