Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

TPO 38 - Q4Explain how the example of the mite and the hummingbird in the lecture illustrates the concept of phoresy. v.1

TPO 38 - Q4Explain how the example of the mite and the hummingbird in the lecture illustrates the concept of phoresy. v. 1
Sustainable energy sources using the power of the sun, wind and waves are costly and impractical compared to the fossil fuels that we use nowadays to power our urban areas and transport. This essay completely disagrees with that statement, as conventional resources are becoming scarce and indeed more expensive than renewable resources, and the equipment needed for producing alternative energy is simpler and easier to maintain. Alternative sources are not as costly as fossil fuels, because non-renewable sources are being used up at an alarming rate, and this has led to raise their value. It has become more difficult to obtain coal and petroleum products, as the mines and power stations currently working are running out of the materials. For example, the annual budget the Brazilian government designates for the extraction of coal went from $10 million USD in 2017 to $50 million USD in 2018, because of the sudden scarcity of the resource in the mines of the nation. Moreover, environmentally friendly sources are easier to maintain, because the processes entailed in working with alternative resources are not as complex and tangled as those used for non-renewable resources. Once solar panels, hydroelectric stations and wind turbines are built, they work without help. For instance, hydroelectric plants in Germany only need to be assessed once a year, because they mainly use natural processes to work, and the failures of the equipment are rare and minimal. In conclusion, alternative sources of energy using renewable natural resources are much more affordable and less complicated to implement than the conventional sources based on non-renewable resources.
Sustainable energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
using the power of the sun, wind and waves are costly and impractical compared to the fossil fuels that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
nowadays to power our urban areas and transport. This essay completely disagrees with that statement, as conventional resources are becoming scarce and
indeed
more expensive than renewable resources, and the equipment needed for producing alternative energy is simpler and easier to maintain.

Alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
are not as costly as fossil fuels,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
non-renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
up at an alarming rate, and this has led to raise their value. It has become more difficult to obtain coal and petroleum products, as the mines and power stations
currently
working are running out of the materials.
For example
, the annual budget the Brazilian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
designates for the extraction of coal went from $10 million USD in 2017 to $50 million USD in 2018,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the sudden scarcity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resource
in the mines of the nation.

Moreover
,
environmentally
friendly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
are easier to maintain,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the processes entailed in working with alternative resources are not as complex and tangled as those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for non-renewable resources. Once solar panels, hydroelectric stations and wind turbines
are built
, they work without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.
For instance
, hydroelectric plants in Germany
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
need to
be assessed
once a year,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
mainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
natural processes to work, and the failures of the equipment are rare and minimal.

In conclusion
, alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of energy using renewable natural resources are much more affordable and less complicated to implement than the conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
based on non-renewable resources.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay TPO 38 - Q4Explain how the example of the mite and the hummingbird in the lecture illustrates the concept of phoresy. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts