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TPO 35, SPEAKING 4Explain how the example from the lecture illustrates the concept of integrated farming. v.1

TPO 35, SPEAKING 4Explain how the example from the lecture illustrates the concept of integrated farming. v. 1
In recent times, more and more local residents have moved to big cities to fetch a better financial gain. Mainly this happens because of unemployment and to have a better life; however, this causes many problems for those who relocate there. The primary reason for dwelling to urban regions by rural residents is because of unemployment. In other words, due to the lack of financial means to support family, since there is less development programmes in remote places, those who live these places cannot find employment opportunities to meet the requirements of family's demands. Eventually, they tend to relocate to any cities in order to have a better life, but they may not be received a welcoming approach there. In cities, there is a huge competition among job seekers; therefore, the only talented can be selected. Thus, city dwellers often find get a work that they want to get. Another point takes into consideration here is that, most of the villages have not a sufficient number of public infrastructures to meet needs of the villagers. This means, cities are well organised and built to meet the requirements of the public: hospitals, schools, and transportation facilities. Having better, advanced, developments, people from rural regions are attracted. The life in the big cities require a lot of money, even though salaries are higher than other areas, the expenses also proportionally higher here. Take daily living costs, for instance, house rent, water bill, travelling charges are huge when it compared with local places. In conclusion, moving to urban regions seems to be a great decision, according to some, but that may not be true in most of the situations. It is predicted that the villages be advanced to meet at least the basic requirements of the residents.
In recent times, more and more local residents have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to fetch a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
financial gain.
Mainly
this happens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of unemployment and to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
life;
however
, this causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems for those who relocate there.

The primary reason for dwelling to urban regions by rural residents is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of unemployment.
In other words
, due to the lack of financial means to support family, since there is less development
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
in remote places, those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
these places cannot find employment opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the requirements of family's demands.
Eventually
, they tend to relocate to any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in order to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they may not
be received
a welcoming approach there. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, there is a huge competition among job seekers;
therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
talented can
be selected
.
Thus
, city dwellers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
find
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a work that they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
.

Another point takes into consideration here is that, most of the villages have not a sufficient number of public infrastructures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
needs of the villagers. This means,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well organised
and built to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the requirements of the public: hospitals, schools, and transportation facilities. Having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
, advanced, developments,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from rural regions
are attracted
. The life in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money,
even though
salaries are higher than other areas, the expenses
also
proportionally
higher here. Take daily living costs,
for instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
rent, water bill, travelling charges are huge when it compared with local places.

In conclusion
, moving to urban regions seems to be a great decision, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that may not be true in most of the situations. It
is predicted
that the villages
be advanced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
at least the basic requirements of the residents.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay TPO 35, SPEAKING 4Explain how the example from the lecture illustrates the concept of integrated farming. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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