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Explain how the example from the lecture illustrates the concept of emotional intelligence. v.1

Explain how the example from the lecture illustrates the concept of emotional intelligence. v. 1
It is a thought conceived by some that tertiary institutions should integrate sports into all degree courses and make it mandatory in order to mitigate the growing population of overweight people. In my opinion, I completely agree that sports should be a must in varsities because of the health benefits it could result. To begin with, the impact of sporting activities on human physical health has clear advantages. Firstly, the rate of obesity has being on the rise and this has hindered a lot of people's health, however, with the implementation of compulsory sports for all degree courses, the level of obesed people would greatly plummet. Secondly, students would become more active and smart rather than being sedentary. For example, people who participate frequently in sports and physical games tend to be agile with good physical posture. For theses reasons, it has been shown that sports have benefits and should be seen as important. In addition, the effects of sports on the mental health of humans can be seen as advantageous. Rather than the study of only theoretical knowledge in the universities, sport courses should be embedded into all degrees because it helps the brain to maintain fast processing of thoughts and full mental alertness. Furthermore, after most academic works the brain is usually tired and begins to experience fatigue whereas sport could help the brain relax and recuperate to assimilate better. For instance, on an average most people who engage in sports are more brilliant and successful in school work. Thus, from here, it is clear that sport courses would be a positive for the health of people. To conclude, I absolutely agree that universities embed sport into all disciplines which would be beneficial to the health of many. Secondary and primary schools should also act likewise to produce a future free of overweight people.
It is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
conceived by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that tertiary institutions should integrate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
into all degree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it mandatory in order to mitigate the growing population of overweight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In my opinion, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
should be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
in varsities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
benefits it could result.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the impact of sporting activities on human physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
advantages.
Firstly
, the rate of obesity has being on the rise and this has hindered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
however
, with the implementation of compulsory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
for all degree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
, the level of
Possible spelling mistake found.
obesed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
greatly
plummet.
Secondly
, students would become more active and smart
rather
than being sedentary.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who participate
frequently
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and physical games tend to be agile with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
physical posture. For
Did you mean "these"?
theses
reasons, it has
been shown
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have benefits and should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

In addition
, the effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
on the mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of humans can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as advantageous.
Rather
than the study of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
theoretical knowledge in the universities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
should
be embedded
into all degrees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the brain to maintain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
processing of thoughts and full mental alertness.
Furthermore
, after most academic works the brain is
usually
tired and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
to experience fatigue whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the brain relax and recuperate to assimilate better.
For instance
, on an average most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who engage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are more brilliant and successful in school work.
Thus
, from here, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
would be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To conclude
, I
absolutely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that universities embed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
into all disciplines which would be beneficial to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
. Secondary and primary schools should
also
act
likewise
to produce a future free of overweight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Explain how the example from the lecture illustrates the concept of emotional intelligence. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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