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TPO 36, SPEAKING question 1imagine you are going to donate money to your community which of the following do you prefer to give money? local libraryanimals rescue centeran environmental group: v.1

TPO 36, SPEAKING question 1imagine you are going to donate money to your community which of the following do you prefer to give money? local libraryanimals rescue centeran environmental group: v. 1
Many argue that a large sum of money in the university’s budget should be equally spent on building sports centre and library facilities for its students. I agree with this view and some reasons would be listed in my essay. Firstly, besides libraries, the allocation of money to sport facilities in schools leads students to a healthy lifestyle, which has a close relationship with the academic performance of students. A student who takes part in physically demanding sports in sports centres tends to be more dynamic and have a positive attitude towards studying compared to those who only stick their eyes on books. By contrast, a student without actively engaged in sport activities is more prone to sicknesses, which takes a toll on their attendance at school in the long term. For example, a student who is constantly absent from classes due to his chronic headache which is rooted from the lack of exercises may fail to meet the attendance requirement criteria in his final exam, resulting a low total score. Secondly, investing an equal proportion of the school budget in establishing sporty spots is a key factor to attract new male high school graduates. This can be clearly explained by the fact that more boys prefer an active environment as opposed to monotonous and solely studying- oriented atmosphere. Take Oxford University as a prime example, since it was renovated by adding two additional stadiums within the campus in 2008, the number of male students enrolling has soared twofold. All things considered, I believe that it is of paramount to capitalize money equally on sports locations as well as at local libraries within the universities’s financial fund. By that way, students may have more opportunities to develop both mentally and physically.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
argue that a large sum of money in the university’s budget should be
equally
spent on building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
and library facilities for its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons would
be listed
in my essay.

Firstly
,
besides
libraries, the allocation of money to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
facilities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
leads
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to a healthy lifestyle, which has a close relationship with the academic performance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
takes part
in
physically
demanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
tends to be more dynamic and have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attitude towards studying compared to those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
stick their eyes on books. By contrast, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
without
actively
engaged in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
activities is more prone to sicknesses, which takes a toll on their attendance at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in the long term.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who is
constantly
absent from classes due to his chronic headache which
is rooted
from the lack of exercises may fail to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the attendance requirement criteria in his final exam, resulting a low total score.

Secondly
, investing an equal proportion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
budget in establishing sporty spots is a key factor to attract new male high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
graduates. This can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
by the fact that more boys prefer an active environment as opposed to monotonous and
solely
studying- oriented atmosphere. Take Oxford University as a prime example, since it
was renovated
by adding two additional stadiums within the campus in 2008, the number of male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
enrolling has soared twofold.

All things considered, I believe that it is of paramount to capitalize money
equally
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
locations
as well
as at local libraries within the
Did you mean "universitie’s" or "universities’"?
universities’s
financial fund. By that way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may have more opportunities to develop both mentally and
physically
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 36, SPEAKING question 1imagine you are going to donate money to your community which of the following do you prefer to give money? local libraryanimals rescue centeran environmental group: v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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