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TPO 31 - Q4Using the examples from the professor's lecture, explain the concept of mental accounting. v.1

TPO 31 - Q4Using the examples from the professor's lecture, explain the concept of mental accounting. v. 1
In today's world advertising plays a key role in shaping people's shopping interests but others might disagree. I may agree with both the views. In this essay we will discuss which point is valid regarding the advertisements. Advertisements have been around since the early times, but since the advent of television and print media has become much more influential. For example, there is no concept of buying diamond rings for marriage before the 1950's. A clever advertising campaign called "Diamonds are forever" changed it completely since then and as many as 90 percent of the couples would buy diamonds for their marriage. This really shows the power of influencing people to buy something they really do not want. So advertising plays a key role in shaping one's interest. As there is the flip side of a coin, there is for a story too. Many products brought to the market improved the standard of living and saved many lives. They became popular only due to their rigorous advertising campaigns by the relevant companies. For example, authorities and government agencies were able to eradicate deadly diseases like measles, chicken pox and polio from the face of the earth because of the effectiveness and the affirmative use of print and digital media. Without the campaign millions more would have died and this could have caused a global catastrophe. So there are important and positive things happening with the use of advertising as mentioned above. The conclusion is that in my view the print and television advertising are making us put unnecessary expenditure on useless things and also do us good by showing us positive aspects too. I agree with both the views.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world advertising plays a key role in shaping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's shopping interests
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others might disagree. I may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with both the views. In this essay we will discuss which point is valid regarding the advertisements.

Advertisements have been around since the early times,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
since the advent of television and print media has become much more influential.
For example
, there is no concept of buying diamond rings for marriage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "1950s".
1950's
. A clever advertising campaign called
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Diamonds are forever
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
it completely since then and as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
as 90 percent of the couples would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
diamonds for their marriage. This
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the power of influencing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
something they
really
do not want.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
advertising plays a key role in shaping one's interest.

As there is the flip side of a coin, there is for a story too.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
products brought to the market
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the standard of living and saved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. They became popular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
due to their rigorous advertising campaigns by the relevant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
For example
, authorities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
agencies were able to eradicate deadly diseases like measles, chicken pox and polio from the face of the earth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the effectiveness and the affirmative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of print and digital media. Without the campaign millions more would have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
and this could have caused a global catastrophe.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
things happening with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of advertising as mentioned above.

The conclusion is that in my view the print and television advertising are making us put unnecessary expenditure on useless things and
also
do us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
by showing us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects too. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with both the views.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 31 - Q4Using the examples from the professor's lecture, explain the concept of mental accounting. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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