Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The picture below shows the Use of renewable energy accounting for the total energy from 1971 to 2006 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting main feature and make comparison where relevant v.1

The picture below shows the Use of renewable energy accounting for the total energy from 1971 to 2006
In the modern world, latest technology devices such as smart phones are an unavoidable thing especially for youngsters. These are very much helpful for the older generation to minimize laziness and to communicate with others. Here I am explaining how it helps them to expose new technology. Internet on mobile phone is giving a facility for the elder people to having medical appointments easily. Applications are helpful to get consultations and can help them to book appointments directly over the internet without bothering someone. It overcomes the hassle of creating direct appointments. For example, my grandfather can seek doctor availability without my help. Furthermore, this helps the doctor to view all appointments together as a report instead of being created by an assistant. In addition, when a person become elder, he retires from his job and might remain at home while his family members go to work; which creates loneliness. For instance, the modern internet enabled gadgets have many applications which allows to chat with a person on the other side, over the connected network. This helps them to create a direct way to interact with his friends, at no extra cost unlike a telephone call. For example, my father used to have video calls with my kids more frequently than paying a direct visit. In conclusion, a mobile phone can be a greater level of virtual assistance to elderly people. It can assist to get nursing assistance and to remain occupied with certain entertainments and news. The above mentioned scenarios encourage them to use new technology and to speed up with it.
In the modern world,
latest
technology devices such as smart phones are an unavoidable thing
especially
for youngsters. These are
very
much helpful for the older generation to minimize laziness and to communicate with others. Here I am explaining how it
helps
them to expose new technology.

Internet on mobile phone is giving a facility for the elder
people
to having medical
appointments
easily
. Applications are helpful to
get
consultations and can
help
them to book
appointments
directly
over the internet without bothering someone. It overcomes the hassle of creating direct
appointments
.
For example
, my grandfather can seek doctor availability without my
help
.
Furthermore
, this
helps
the doctor to view all
appointments
together as a report
instead
of
being created
by an assistant.

In addition
, when a person become elder, he retires from his job and might remain at home while his family members go to work; which creates loneliness.
For instance
, the modern internet enabled gadgets have
many
applications which
allows
to chat
with a person on the other side, over the connected network. This
helps
them to create a direct way to interact with his friends, at no extra cost unlike a telephone call.
For example
, my father
used
to have video calls with my kids more
frequently
than paying a direct visit.

In conclusion
, a mobile phone can be a greater level of virtual assistance to elderly
people
. It can assist to
get
nursing assistance and to remain occupied with certain entertainments and news. The above mentioned scenarios encourage them to
use
new technology and to
speed up
with it.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay The picture below shows the Use of renewable energy accounting for the total energy from 1971 to 2006

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts