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Some research has indicated that pests are important for mental for mental health. Do you agree or disagree? Explain with reasons and examples. v.1

Some research has indicated that pests are important for mental for mental health. Explain with reasons and examples. v. 1
Variety of shows in television are now popular with many children nowadays. Some of the broadcasting system offers a wide range of education series that is being aired. However, some people believe that reading a book is the best way to learn and educate children. I completely agree to the fact that books is the best study material despite of the developing technology around the world. In the modern day, many television shows attract children. Some of the shows that are being aired in media outlets are educational and interactive that helps them in their studies, because of that many youngsters spends their time watching television. For instance, some toddlers can easily memorize the alphabet or the kinds of animals with the help of this platform. Moreover, it also benefits the parents because they can leave their children while watching and do some errand or chores in the house. However, some child abuse this by watching cartoons or anime and for that reason they tend to forget to do their homework and study with their books and children become less educated because they are more focus to what they are watching. Education is very important to children, there are several learning materials that aid them to increase their knowledge. Some people think that book is the best tool to educate children because it has a variety of lessons that the young can learn and it is a study material to use while in school. Children can boost their knowledge by just reading a whole text in the book, for example an elementary student wants to study for their lesson on the next day, the student can prepare for their next class by doing advance reading. In addition, children can bring their books anywhere and read it during their spare time. In conclusion, I argued that television is beneficial to many children as they can learn easily. However, not all important lessons can learn through it, especially the one that is being taught in the school. With the use of books, children will become well-educated and be more knowledgeable.
Variety of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
popular with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
nowadays.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
broadcasting system offers a wide range of education series
that is
being aired
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that reading a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
is the best way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
and educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
is the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
material
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
the developing technology around the world.

In the modern day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that are
being aired
in media outlets are educational and interactive that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youngsters spends their time watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
toddlers can
easily
memorize the alphabet or the kinds of animals with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of this platform.
Moreover
, it
also
benefits the parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
while watching and do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
errand or chores in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
child abuse this by watching cartoons or anime and for that reason they tend to forget to do their homework and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
become less educated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are more focus to what they are watching.

Education is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, there are several learning materials that aid them to increase their knowledge.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
is the best tool to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has a variety of lessons that the young can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
and it is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
material to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
while in school.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
can boost their knowledge by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
reading a whole text in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
,
for example
an elementary student wants to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
for their lesson on the
next
day, the student can prepare for their
next
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
by doing advance reading.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can bring their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
anywhere and read it during their spare time.

In conclusion
, I argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is beneficial to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
easily
.
However
, not all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
lessons can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
through it,
especially
the one
that is
being taught
in the school. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will become well-educated and be more knowledgeable.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some research has indicated that pests are important for mental for mental health. Explain with reasons and examples. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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