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Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home leisure and work activities To what extent do the benefits of information technology outweigh the disadvantages v.8

Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home leisure and work activities 8
Whilst a sector of the society is of the view that watching movies and films at cinemas is quite enjoying, others argue that technological devices as mobile phones facilitate watching movies using them. I am a staunch believer that the latter point of view is advantageous for two quintessential reasons. In the following lines, both points of view will be further discussed along with my point of view. To begin with, watching films on cinema screens has a substantial merit. In other words, if family members gather and watch a film in the cinema hall, this would strength family bonds among their members, and will reduce their daily stress. This is exemplified by a research study conducted by one of the pundits in the field of psychology; the findings of the study have revealed that four out of six families, who have recently attended a film at the cinema, have boosted their morale, and they enjoy better understanding among them. Hence, this reflects that watching films at cinemas has a positive impact on society and on family members. Despite the aforementioned merit, others and I second the view that using technological gadgets to watch films has two fundamental merits. This is because the economical recession around the globe; a myriad of individuals save much money by utilizing their tablets to see newly released films. As per an article published by The Guardian, around 60% of the Egyptians opt for watching films on their mobile screen because of their strenuous lifestyle. Not only is economic situation the only reason for watching films by mobile phones, but also seeing films from various gadgets assists in saving time. This accentuates the concept that it is more beneficial to see films by using one of the technological devices. In conclusion, it can be reiterated that although seeing movies at the cinema has a social merit, utilizing technological devices has as economical reason. I am of the view that technological gadgets have the advantage to entertain and see films using them.
Whilst a sector of the society is of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
that watching movies and films at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
is quite enjoying, others argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
devices as mobile phones facilitate watching movies using them. I am a staunch believer that the latter point of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
is advantageous for two quintessential reasons. In the following lines, both points of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
will be
further
discussed along with my point of view.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, watching films on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
screens has a substantial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
merit
.
In other words
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members gather and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
a film in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
hall, this would strength
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bonds among their members, and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. This
is exemplified
by a research study conducted by one of the pundits in the field of psychology; the findings of the study have revealed that four out of six
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
, who have recently attended a film at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
, have boosted their morale, and they enjoy better understanding among them.
Hence
, this reflects that watching films at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on society and on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.

Despite the aforementioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
merit
, others and I second the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
that using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
gadgets to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
films has two fundamental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
merits
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
recession around the globe; a myriad of individuals
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "saves"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'save' is not always incorrect.)
save
much money by utilizing their tablets to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
newly
released films. As per an article published by The Guardian, around 60% of the Egyptians opt for watching films on their mobile screen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their strenuous lifestyle. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
is economic situation the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
reason for watching films by mobile phones,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
seeing films from various gadgets assists in saving time. This accentuates the concept that it is more beneficial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
films by using one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
devices.

In conclusion
, it can
be reiterated
that although seeing movies at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
has a social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
merit
, utilizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
devices has as economical reason. I am of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
gadgets have the advantage to entertain and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
films using them.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home leisure and work activities 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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