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Sports and social activities are just important as classes and library should receive equal financial support. Agree or Disagree? v.2

Sports and social activities are just important as classes and library should receive equal financial support. Agree or Disagree? v. 2
From many years we hear from our parents, teachers that other then textbook studies we should learn and obtain more knowledge from the outside world. This outside world of studies is found in our universities today like a library where we need equal financial support like other activities. Personally, I believe that the library should receive equal financial support as the other activities as today. I feel this way for two reasons which I will explore in my following essay When I was a kid often there used to be a song on television. The name of the song was " Books Books books Babbalola" . It was a program where kids used to choose the subject and play a game by answering a number of questions. They only source to answer the question is by obtaining knowledge from a library. So the library is a house for every individual who needs to gain and implement their thoughts in a paper. For instance, I remember when I was a kid our financial conditions were not good. I didn' t have a certain amount of money to buy books. As a result, I used to sit in the library to complete my assignments. Moreover, a library is not only provided with books it is also provided with computers with good internet services. If the government doesn' t grant financial support to libraries then from where a lower-middle-class student who is brilliant in studies will gain knowledge from. In universities and colleges, sports play a very important role. Government grants financial support to these activities. The reason is, sports helps the student to work on physical activities. According to them, some pushup and running makes student healthy and avoid them from many health issues in the future. For example, if a person is sick and he comes to know about a health issue. The doctors have warned him that he should take care of his serious health issue. He suddenly realizes that he needs research on his illness. The only place for his research will be a library where he can sit and find information on homemade remedies that will help him to cure. So the moral of the story is when we are in dealing in a situation and need a solution on a particular subject we sit in the house of books. In conclusion, I strongly believe that every library should receive equal financial support like sports and social activities. This is because financial support will help the library to get connected to this outside world of knowledge and that book.
From
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years we hear from our parents, teachers that
Did you mean "other than"?
other then
textbook studies we should learn and obtain more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
from the outside world. This outside world of studies
is found
in our universities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
like a library where we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
like other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
Personally
, I believe that the library should receive equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
as the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. I feel this way for two reasons which I will explore in my following
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
essay


“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
I was a kid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be a song on television. The name of the song was
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Books
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Books
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
Possible spelling mistake found.
Babbalola&quot
;
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
It was a program where kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to choose the subject and play a game by answering a number of questions. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
source to answer the question is by obtaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
from a library.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the library is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
for every individual who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to gain and implement their thoughts in a paper.
For instance
, I remember when I was a kid our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
conditions were not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. I
Possible spelling mistake found.
didn&
#039; t have a certain amount of money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
As a result
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to sit in the library to complete my assignments.
Moreover
, a library is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provided with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
it is
also
provided with computers with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
internet services. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
Possible spelling mistake found.
doesn&
#039; t grant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
to libraries then from where a lower-middle-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
student who is brilliant in studies will gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
from.

In universities and colleges, sports play a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
grants
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. The reason is, sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the student to work on physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. According to them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
pushup
and running
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "makes'" or "make's"?
makes
student healthy and avoid them from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health issues in the future.
For example
, if a person is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
sick and
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to know about a health issue. The doctors have warned him that he should take care of his serious health issue. He
suddenly
realizes that he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
research on his illness. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
place for his research will be a library where he can sit and find information on homemade remedies that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him to cure.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the moral of the story is when we are in dealing in a situation and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
a solution on a particular subject we sit in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
of books.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that every library should receive equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
like sports and social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the library to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
connected to this outside world of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes

IELTS essay Sports and social activities are just important as classes and library should receive equal financial support. Agree or Disagree? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
431 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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