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TPO 30. Q2. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should be involved in the process of helping their children to choose a career. Use specific examples and details to support your opinion. v.1

TPO 30. Q2. Parents should be involved in the process of helping their children to choose a career. Use specific examples and details to support your opinion. v. 1
In this modern technology era, kids, educating is becoming a heated subject over the recent years. It is not only likely to have a great impact on children's later behaviour and development, but also demonstrates how do early educating effect to children's brain. Therefor, in order to provide kids with the best educating system, analysing and selecting appropriate books would be surely a need, not to mention must. But, is it really necessary to narrow the children's books list as to maintain a best latest source of all. On the one hand, there is no doubt that academic books are greatly beneficial for kids in many ways. They are consisted with theories, estimates and assumptions. Likewise, those books are believed to enable children to specialized in some particular objects. In addition to that, a great book can also acknowledged children with a lot of great fun facts. For example, these books provide relevant and real information about incidents happening across the globe which eventually enables children to explore the world through books. However, ones would argue that those theories are mostly lacking in practicality. Youngsters, especially those from ages 5-10 cannot handle this information within a few short words. Meanwhile, a clear clarification plays an important role in the module educating system, things that most books are short of. For instance, still, educational books are very important to children intellectual growth and hence, undeniable. On the other hand, there are many opinions go against the above controversy. They explained that the comic couple with fantasy journals are genres of self-explanatory story. Hence, there is no need to give further explanation. Children can deeply emerge with their own imaginary world and discover the amazing world of words. Also, there are many stories nowadays that adapted real life situation into the books. Likewise, kids can learn how to deal with them at ease with practical examples from the books. Some story books or novels consist general knowledge regarding social activities and behaviours which can help a student to understand the ways of the society and help strengthen their spiritual life. IN conclusion, I think that reading books of any genres can be considered a good habit when compared to other ways of entertainment such as mobiles, internet etc. Kids must be allowed to choose what they want to read. Therefor, they would like, they are mature enough and begin to take responsibilities for what they've done. Parents should be more over minded about educating their children
In this modern technology era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educating
is becoming a heated subject over the recent years. It is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
likely to have a great impact on children's later
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and development,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
demonstrates how do early
After the auxiliary verb 'do', use the base form of a verb. Did you mean "educate"?
educating
effect to children's brain. Therefor, in order to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
with the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educating
system,
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
and selecting appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
would be
surely
a need, not to mention
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, is it
really
necessary to narrow the children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
list as to maintain
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
best
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
source of all.

On the one hand, there is no doubt that academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are
greatly
beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. They
are consisted
with theories, estimates and assumptions.
Likewise
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are believed
to enable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
Did you mean "specialize"?
specialized
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
particular objects.
In addition
to that, a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
can
also
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "acknowledge"
acknowledged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
great fun facts.
For example
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
provide relevant and real information about incidents happening across the globe which
eventually
enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to explore the world through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
However
, ones would argue that those theories are
mostly
lacking in practicality. Youngsters,
especially
those from ages 5-10 cannot handle this information within a few short words. Meanwhile, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
clarification plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the module
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educating
system, things that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are short of.
For instance
,
still
, educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
intellectual growth and
hence
, undeniable.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opinions go against the above controversy. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
that the comic couple with fantasy journals are genres of self-explanatory story.
Hence
, there is no need to give
further
explanation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
can
deeply
emerge with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
imaginary world and discover the amazing world of words.
Also
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
stories nowadays that adapted real life situation into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
Likewise
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
can learn how to deal with them at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
with practical examples from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
story
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
or novels consist general knowledge regarding social activities and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a student to understand the ways of the society and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
strengthen their spiritual life.

IN conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
of any genres can
be considered
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
habit when compared to other ways of entertainment such as mobiles, internet etc.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to choose what they want to read. Therefor, they would like, they are mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to take responsibilities for what they've done. Parents should be more over minded about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educating
their
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
children
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 30. Q2. Parents should be involved in the process of helping their children to choose a career. Use specific examples and details to support your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
413 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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