Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

TPO-30 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more enjoyable to have a job where you work only three days a week for long hours than to have a job where you work five days a week for shorter hours. Use spec v.2

TPO-30 - Independent Writing Task It is more enjoyable to have a job where you work only three days a week for long hours than to have a job where you work five days a week for shorter hours. Use spec v. 2
< span style=" font-size: 19. 36px; " > Enjoying from jobs is one of the most critical concerns of the modern society, recently. Needless to say that every person whom enjoy more from his career would become effective employeer. Some people may find that working in less days but extra hours is infinitely preferable, whereas others would take the reverse. Even though, reducing days of the job has some benefit since it can reduce the global warming effect because of the fewer gass production in days. Nevertheless, I firmly of the belief that its not the best option. The following underlying reasons are going to substantiate my stand-points. First reason that holds me this concept is that lose of a great opportunity for companies. It can be illustrated that every hours companies closed they finance will decrease. For exmple, when I was persuading my family bussiness at the bakery equipment company a few years ago, I realized that we must open even on the friday in order to improves our finance and decrease our production costs; hence, give better respond to our customers as better offer for enjoying our employer such a reant football place or give the more insurane options. After a while, I hire more worker to increase our work time since every seconds have undeniable impact on financ and finally I become to a new start-up of our city. Thus, it can be seen that this opportunity would not occur if our full days week would not happen. Another reason is that people feel more tired if they have more weekend time. I read several articles about stuff which increase workers ability and responsibility. They analyze the various impacts of the work and conditions which effect; hence, they assume that some worker whom rest more at the free time could not abale to best respond in first day work. On of the articles estimates that approximately 30 percent the efficiency decrease after 8 hours worke, and people only prefer to go home and make rest. I can remeber my personal experience when I was studying in order to get admition from Sharif university; So, I study more than 10 hours every days. After a while, I disapointed from admition or even become engineer, while I considerably felt in love with engineering from my childhood. Therfore I decrease my study time and perfectly got admition on another university but I would happy and keen to be an engineer. Thus, it seems reasonable to assume from this experience that 8 hours of worke is enough and extra hours could be harmful for health and love. In conclusion, though some may oppose the concept, people sould worke 5 days a week insteed of four. Not only because of its effect on company finance is undeniable, but also three days weekends would be harmful as worke more than 8 hours would be. Every person should take care of him health and know more about habite; so, can choice perfect option. < /span> < br>
Possible spelling mistake found.
&lt
; span style=
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
; font-size: 19. 36px;
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
;
Possible spelling mistake found.
&gt
; Enjoying from jobs is one of the most critical concerns of the modern society, recently. Needless to say that every person whom enjoy more from his career would become effective
Possible spelling mistake found.
employeer
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may find that working in
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun days is countable.
less
days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
is
infinitely
preferable, whereas others would take the reverse.
Even though
, reducing days of the job has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefit since it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the global warming effect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the fewer
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "gases", the plural form of the noun 'gas'?
gass
production in days.
Nevertheless
, I
firmly
of the belief that its not the best option. The following underlying reasons are going to substantiate my stand-points.

First
reason that holds me this concept is that lose of a great opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
. It can
be illustrated
that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
closed they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
finance
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decrease
. For
Possible spelling mistake found.
exmple
, when I was persuading my family
Possible spelling mistake found.
bussiness
at the bakery equipment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
a few years ago, I realized that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
open even on the
Possible spelling mistake found.
friday
in order to
Did you mean "improve"?
improves
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
finance
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decrease
our production costs;
hence
, give better respond to our customers as better offer for enjoying our employer such a
Possible spelling mistake found.
reant
football place or give the more
Possible spelling mistake found.
insurane
options. After a while, I hire
Use only "worker" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more worker
to increase our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
since every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "second"?
seconds
have undeniable impact on
Possible spelling mistake found.
financ
and
finally
I become to a new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
-up of our city.
Thus
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that this opportunity would not occur if our full days week would not happen.

Another reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel more tired if they have more weekend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. I read several articles about stuff which increase workers ability and responsibility. They analyze the various impacts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and conditions which effect;
hence
, they assume that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
worker whom rest more at the free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
could not
Possible spelling mistake found.
abale
to best respond in
first
day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. On of the articles estimates that approximately 30 percent the efficiency
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decrease
after 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
Possible spelling mistake found.
worke
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
prefer to go home and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
rest. I can
Possible spelling mistake found.
remeber
my personal experience when I was studying in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
admition
from Sharif university;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I study more than 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "day"?
days
. After a while, I
Possible spelling mistake found.
disapointed
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
admition
or even become engineer, while I
considerably
felt in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
with engineering from my childhood.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Therfore
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decrease
my study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
perfectly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
Possible spelling mistake found.
admition
on another university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
would happy
and keen to be an engineer.
Thus
, it seems reasonable to assume from this experience that 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
worke
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
and extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
could be harmful for health and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
.

In conclusion
, though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may oppose the concept,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
sould
Possible spelling mistake found.
worke
5 days a week
Possible spelling mistake found.
insteed
of four. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
finance
is undeniable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
three days weekends would be harmful as
Possible spelling mistake found.
worke
more than 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
would be. Every person should take care of him health and know more about
Possible spelling mistake found.
habite
;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, can choice perfect option.
Possible spelling mistake found.
&lt
; /
Possible spelling mistake found.
span&gt
;
Possible spelling mistake found.
&lt
;
Possible spelling mistake found.
br&gt
;
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay TPO-30 - Independent Writing Task It is more enjoyable to have a job where you work only three days a week for long hours than to have a job where you work five days a week for shorter hours. Use spec v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
503 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts