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The diagram below show how an office building look at present and the plan for its future development. v.1

The diagram below show how an office building look at present and the plan for its future development. v. 1
With a significant rise in the number of reported cases of animal exploitation, especially that of endangered species, many activist groups now argue that animal rights need to be safeguarded in the same manner as human rights. Some people, however, are of the opinion that it is perfectly fine to use animals for food and research purposes. This essay will discuss both viewpoints and will reflect why indeed we need to have a set of rights for protecting the wildlife from undue mistreatment. Animal rights activist groups have been lobbying for a global animal protection program for a long time now. They are justifiably worried due to the reckless actions of the human race that has put the well being of the wildlife at stake. For example, the ever lucrative business of high street, fashion has resulted in an increase in illegal hunting and trafficking of exotic animals. These instances have bolstered fear among scientists and zoologists alike and they believe that if no action is taken promptly, many animal species might altogether become extinct. On the contrary, there is another group of people, which argue that the use of animals in different areas such as for consumption and research purposes is justified. Their argument is based on the notion that nature has its own unique way of maintaining balance in the ecosystem and since animals are essential to human survival they will not become extinct. Further, animals also play an important role in scientific research. For example, before pharmaceutical companies can begin human trials for a potential new drug, the prototype is always tested on animals to study its efficacy and effects.
With a significant rise in the number of reported cases of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
exploitation,
especially
that of endangered species,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
activist groups
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
need to
be safeguarded
in the same manner as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
however
, are of the opinion that it is
perfectly
fine to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for food and research purposes. This essay will discuss both viewpoints and will reflect why
indeed
we need to have a set of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
for protecting the wildlife from undue mistreatment.

Animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
activist groups have been lobbying for a global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
protection program for a long time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. They are
justifiably
worried due to the reckless actions of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
race that has put the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
of the wildlife at stake.
For example
, the ever lucrative business of high street, fashion has resulted in an increase in illegal hunting and trafficking of exotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. These instances have bolstered fear among scientists and zoologists
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
alike and
they believe that if no action
is taken
promptly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species might altogether become extinct.

On the contrary
, there is another group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, which argue that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
areas such as for consumption and research purposes
is justified
. Their argument
is based
on the notion that nature has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
unique way of maintaining balance in the ecosystem and since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are essential to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
survival they will not become extinct.
Further
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
also
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in scientific research.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
pharmaceutical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
trials for a potential new drug, the prototype is always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to study its efficacy and effects.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay The diagram below show how an office building look at present and the plan for its future development. v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
273 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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