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TPO 29 - Question 1Which of the following jobs or careers do you think would be most rewarding? University professorEnvironmental scientistNewspaper journalistChoose one career and explain why you think it would be most rewarding. Use details and examples v.1

TPO 29 - Question 1Which of the following jobs or careers do you think would be most rewarding? University professorEnvironmental scientistNewspaper journalistChoose one career and explain why you think it would be most rewarding. Use details and examples v. 1
One of the hotly debated issues is scientific research in the field of genetics. There is an opinion that achievements in this area can be significantly harmful to people in the future and should not unlimitedly be continued. I partially agree with this, but I must recognize the positive side of progress in the field of genetic engineering. On the one hand, genetic engineering can lead to new types of terminal illnesses. Since scientists discovered DNA in the mid-20th century, the risk of new types of diseases has been rapidly increased. For instance, as is known due to gain a lot of volume of cobweb, which is necessary for nanotechnology, scientists have linked the DNA of spider with the DNA of goat. It gives the chance to get enough volume of cobweb from the goat’s milk. However, no one cannot guaranty that spider's diseases will not transfer to human beings in this way. Thus, the opinion that this kind of dangerous trend must be limited is well-founded. On the other hand, achievements in genetic engineering contribute to decreasing hunger in a world. Crossing different crop genes lead to an increase in their resistant and harvest. For example, cold and decay-resistant of some type of potato have been rising due to crossing with the DNA of potato beetle. Moreover, scientists allege that such a kind of achievement is absolutely safe for human beings. Therefore, continuing experiments in this area might be more beneficial in the future. In conclusion, though I agree that the results of these experiments might be a course of irreversible consequences such as unknown types of diseases, these achievements also might bring unlimited benefits for humanity.
One of the
hotly
debated issues is scientific research in the field of genetics. There is an opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achievements
in this area can be
significantly
harmful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the future and should not
unlimitedly
be continued
. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
recognize the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side of progress in the field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetic
engineering.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetic
engineering can lead to new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of terminal illnesses. Since scientists discovered DNA in the mid-20th century, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of diseases has been
rapidly
increased.
For instance
, as
is known
due to gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
volume of cobweb, which is necessary for nanotechnology, scientists have linked the DNA of spider with the DNA of goat. It gives the chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
volume of cobweb from the goat’s milk.
However
, no one cannot guaranty that spider's diseases will not transfer to human beings in this way.
Thus
, the opinion that this kind of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
trend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be limited
is well-founded.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achievements
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetic
engineering contribute to decreasing hunger in a world. Crossing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
crop genes lead to an increase in their resistant and harvest.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
and decay-resistant of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of potato have been rising due to crossing with the DNA of potato beetle.
Moreover
, scientists allege that such a kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achievement
is
absolutely
safe for human beings.
Therefore
, continuing experiments in this area might be more beneficial in the future.

In conclusion
, though I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the results of these experiments might be a course of irreversible consequences such as unknown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of diseases, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achievements
also
might bring unlimited benefits for humanity.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay TPO 29 - Question 1Which of the following jobs or careers do you think would be most rewarding? University professorEnvironmental scientistNewspaper journalistChoose one career and explain why you think it would be most rewarding. Use details and examples v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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