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Some people say that advertisement encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisement tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which do you agree? v.1

Some people say that advertisement encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisement tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which do you agree? v. 1
Many people think that money spends behind art and other such things is a total waste, others think government should spend more on other things. I don't agree much with this statement, because the art reflects our history and history plays an important role in our life. In further paragraph, I intend to discuss my view points. On the one side, now a days people are learning about the craft, the ancient culture, the architecture and are keen in knowing more about old times. To appreciate such work, the authority is spending money in preserving old monuments, building art galleries, organizing exhibitions and many more. For instance, a large amount of money is building the world highest Sardar Vallabhbhai Patel's monument. In this project the government had spent a lump amount of money. As a consequence, tax amount got increased with created a burden on middle class families. To resolve such issues union should balance the funding between preserving old cultures and developing necessary things for todays people. On the other side, many things that the state should spend more amount in current major issues like building health cares, proper transportations services in rural areas, education centres, building for accommodating people because due to such inefficiency of such amenities people are facing many difficulties in day to day of life. Every year budget is presented which decide how much amount should be spent on individual things. As an output of this budget the ministry is balancing between public needs and history. To put down in a nutshell, I would pen down, saying that, the union should prioritize the allotted funding accordingly, between present requirements or the art.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
spends behind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
such things is a total waste, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should spend more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things. I don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
much with this statement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
reflects our history and history plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our life. In
further
paragraph, I intend to discuss my view points.

On the one side,
Did you mean "nowadays"?
now a days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are learning about the craft, the ancient culture, the architecture and are keen in knowing more about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
times. To appreciate such work, the authority is spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in preserving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
monuments,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
galleries, organizing exhibitions and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
For instance
, a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
the world highest
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sardar
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vallabhbhai
Patel's monument. In this project the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
had spent a lump
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. As a consequence, tax
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
increased with created a burden on middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
families. To resolve such issues union should balance the funding between preserving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
cultures and developing necessary things for
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things that the state should spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
major issues like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
health cares, proper transportations services in rural areas, education
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
for accommodating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
due to such inefficiency of such amenities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
difficulties in day to day of life. Every year budget
is presented
which decide how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
should
be spent
on individual things. As an output of this budget the ministry is balancing between public needs and history.

To put down in a nutshell, I would pen down, saying that, the union should prioritize the allotted funding
accordingly
, between present requirements or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that advertisement encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisement tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which do you agree? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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