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In many cities more and more people are living alone. Why is this the case? . Is this a positive or negative development? v.1

In many cities more and more people are living alone. Why is this the case? . Is this a positive or negative development? v. 1
Nowadays, The value of market such a thing like Electronics, Home accessories, Automobile sector etc. Are play an important role in human lives compare with the previous decades. Therefore, on one side some people think that living in a city is better. On the other hand, some public believe that their life is good to live in the countryside. I equally believe that both the side is good for what is the main purpose of people. I give my opinion and my point of view according to my knowledge. Firstly, Living in cities is major profitable for the growth and development of the children. Also, Facibilities for the family is far better as compared with to live in countryside. But, For live this kind of lifestyle and stay in the city is highly costly compare to stay in the countryside. Moreover, For people entertainment like shopping mall, theatres, and restaurants are across the country is far less compared to their numbers in the city. However, Stay outside the city is relatively peaceful. There is no noise pollution compare with city. Furthermore, There are many industries are all across the city and from that it is quite good for the employment purposes. Pollution and the number of vehicles is quite less compared to the city. Although, The transportation problem is a big issue for them who lives in the countryside area. They cover a lot of distance to buy some items like grains, beans, fresh vegetables, fresh fruits, oil and so on. To conclude, After compares so many points in my opinion, I suggest people that live in city is more preferable apart from live in countryside. I totally agree with it because, the advantages are more against the disadvantages to live in city.
Nowadays, The value of market such a thing like Electronics, Home accessories, Automobile sector etc. Are play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compare
with the previous decades.
Therefore
, on one side
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that living in a city is better.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
public believe that their life is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
. I
equally
believe that both the side is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for what is the main purpose of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I give my opinion and my point of view according to my knowledge.

Firstly
, Living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is major profitable for the growth and development of the children.
Also
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Facibilities
for the family is far better as compared with to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
this kind of lifestyle and stay in the city is
highly
costly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compare
to stay in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
.
Moreover
, For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
entertainment like shopping mall,
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
, and restaurants are across the country is far less compared to their numbers in the city.

However
, Stay outside the city is
relatively
peaceful. There is no noise pollution
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compare
with city.
Furthermore
, There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
industries are all across the city and from that it is quite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the employment purposes. Pollution and the number of vehicles is quite less compared to the city. Although, The transportation problem is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
issue for them who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
area. They cover
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
distance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
items like grains, beans, fresh vegetables, fresh fruits, oil and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

To conclude
, After
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compares
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
points in my opinion, I suggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in city is more preferable apart from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, the advantages are more against the disadvantages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in city.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
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IELTS essay In many cities more and more people are living alone. Why is this the case? . Is this a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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