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Which of the following jobs or careers do you think would be most rewarding? University professor Environmental scientist Newspaper journalist Choose one career and explain why you think it would be most rewarding. Use details and examples to support your v.2

Which of the following jobs or careers do you think would be most rewarding? University professor Environmental scientist Newspaper journalist Choose one career and explain why you think it would be most rewarding. Use details and examples to support your v. 2
Some argue that a pre-defined punishment should be given based on the crime. However, others argue that things such as reasons behind a crime and what drove the culprit to commit a crime should all be taken into account before punishing an individual. In my opinion, I believe that all of the facts and figures should be considered when deciding a life altering decision. Those who are in favour of pre-defined punishments claims that this will be cost effective and efficient. In other words, since the punishment is fixed all that a jury needs to know if the culprit is guilty or not. Once this is decided the judge could easily sentence the punishment based on the law making the whole judicial system fast and efficient whereas, previously it would have taken years to conclude a case costing an enormous amount of taxpayer's money. Furthermore, since the punishments are fixed an offender would exactly know the severity of the punishment, hence, pre-determined crimes would decline. For instance, a bank robber on parole breaking into another financial institute would exactly know their consequences when caught. Others who oppose pre-defined punishment claims that there are always more than one side to a story. Humans primarily make decisions and take actions based on emotions and feelings. Hence, it is vital for a judge and for the jury to hear and see through a person's reasoning before making a judgement call. In addition, even though a crime is made by an individual there can be compelling reasons for the jury to free a person from its crime based on situation, compassion and empathy. For example, a destitute stealing a loaf of a bread to feed his poverty-stricken family can be granted a free pass based on the three above stated reasons. In conclusion, I strongly believe that pre-defined punishments will not aid an individual to correct themselves instead, it will make people lose hope and belief in the judicial system which is ultimately the last place to get justice.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that a
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-defined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
based on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
However
, others argue that things such as reasons behind a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and what drove the culprit to commit a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
should all
be taken
into account
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
punishing an individual. In my opinion, I believe that
Consider using "all the".
all of the
facts and figures should
be considered
when deciding a life altering decision.

Those who are in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-defined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
claims that this will
be cost
effective and efficient.
In other words
, since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
all that a jury needs to know if the culprit is guilty or not. Once this
is decided
the judge could
easily
sentence the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
based on the law making the whole judicial system
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and efficient whereas, previously it would have taken years
to conclude
a case costing an enormous amount of taxpayer's money.
Furthermore
, since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
an offender would exactly know the severity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
,
hence
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-determined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
would decline.
For instance
, a bank robber on parole breaking into another financial institute would exactly know their consequences when caught.

Others who oppose
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-defined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
claims that there are always more than one side to a story. Humans
primarily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decisions and take actions based on emotions and feelings.
Hence
, it is vital for a judge and for the jury to hear and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
through a person's reasoning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making a judgement call.
In addition
,
even though
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is made
by an individual there can be compelling reasons for the jury to free a person from its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
based on situation, compassion and empathy.
For example
, a destitute stealing a loaf of a bread to feed his poverty-stricken family can
be granted
a free pass based on the three above stated reasons.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-defined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
will not aid an individual to correct themselves
instead
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
lose hope and belief in the judicial system which is
ultimately
the last place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
justice.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Which of the following jobs or careers do you think would be most rewarding? University professor Environmental scientist Newspaper journalist Choose one career and explain why you think it would be most rewarding. Use details and examples to support your v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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