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Perceptual ConstancyHow an object affects our senses depends in part on external conditions, and these conditions are always changing. An object viewed from one angle presents a different shape to our eye than when viewed from another angle; similarly, as v.1

Perceptual ConstancyHow an object affects our senses depends in part on external conditions, and these conditions are always changing. An object viewed from one angle presents a different shape to our eye than when viewed from another angle; similarly, as v. 1
It's true that nowadays, a large number of people are opting foreign countries for their own reasons which lead to a deep effect on societies. There are several reasons for such a situation and also a visible influence too. Both aspects are explained in the ensuing paragraphs. It is a fact that the people who are moving towards foreign countries are for higher studies in their life. As there are some courses, which are not available in some of the countries and in addition to that they can also get a practical knowledge regarding that subject which can not become into effect in their own countries due to lack of resources. Moreover, they can learn more about that area in more depth. The other cause is the employment rate, which is in good numbers in developing countries rather than developed countries because of that they prefer to go there. Eventually, the crime rate is at least level. As everyone today wants to live in a safe region. The mention causes have some impacts too. The foremost effect is, if all the well-educated people will go outside of their own nation, then that may cause a major loss for them. For instance, there will be a deficiency of the entrepreneurs by which no new companies will emerge from that region and that will be great damage to that country's economy. The other repercussion is that it may leave a bad effect on the other persons. By which they may also think of leaving their native region. Thus, to conclude the topic, it can be finally commented that going to foreign countries is good, but we do not have to forget our own countries.
It's true that nowadays,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are opting foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
reasons which lead to a deep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on societies. There are several reasons for such a situation and
also
a visible influence too. Both aspects are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
in the ensuing paragraphs.

It is a fact that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are moving towards foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are for higher studies in their life. As there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
courses, which are not available in
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
in addition
to that they can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "practical knowledge".
a practical knowledge
regarding that subject which can not become into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
due to lack of resources.
Moreover
, they can learn more about that area in more depth. The other cause is the employment rate, which is in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
numbers in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
rather
than developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that they prefer to go there.
Eventually
, the crime rate is at least level.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a safe region.

The mention causes have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
impacts too.

The foremost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
is, if all the well-educated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will go
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
nation, then that may cause a major loss for them.
For instance
, there will be a deficiency of the entrepreneurs by which no new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
will emerge from that region and that will be great damage to that country's economy. The other repercussion is that it may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on the other persons. By which they may
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of leaving their native region.

Thus
,
to conclude
the topic, it can be
finally
commented that going to foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
forget our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
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IELTS essay Perceptual ConstancyHow an object affects our senses depends in part on external conditions, and these conditions are always changing. An object viewed from one angle presents a different shape to our eye than when viewed from another angle; similarly, as v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
282 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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