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TPO 28Using points and examples from the lecture, describe two ways that lakes can disappear. v.1

TPO 28Using points and examples from the lecture, describe two ways that lakes can disappear. v. 1
Tourism is a major revenue-generating business in today's world as more and more individuals and families prefer to spend their holidays away from their busy urban life. Although there are certain disadvantages of tourism, its wonderful advantages such as local economic development, job creation and so on eclipse the problems caused by it. Tourism comes with few specific disadvantages owing to the mix up of foreign cultures with local culture. Tourists often come with prohibited drugs and other intoxicating substances to either consume or even sell them at the places of attraction, which might create law and order problems and promote drug addiction among natives. Furthermore, foreign tourists being vulnerable, attract attention of local criminals. This tendency can lead to an increase in crime rate at popular tourist spots. The beautiful beaches of Digha, West Bengal, for instance, are now having regular incidents of alcohol-abuse, murder and snatching which is tainting its reputation a lot. Given that there are few demerits of tourism, it has so many significant benefits as well to the local community. Apart from generating a lot of revenue, which helps the local government, it encourages the preservation of local culture as many tourists prefer to acquaint themselves of history, language and cuisine of the tourist place. This promotes the construction of museums, local musical bands and restaurants. Additionally, tourism creates the demand for certain jobs like interpreter guides and contributes towards the growth of local hotels and shops. In the line of conclusion, tourism's advantages have a clear edge over the disadvantages. Therefore, I believe that every government should work towards the development of tourism and provide adequate policing to keep the law and order issues at bay.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourism
is a major revenue-generating business in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world as more and more individuals and families prefer to spend their holidays away from their busy urban life. Although there are certain disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
, its wonderful advantages such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
economic development, job creation and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on eclipse the problems caused by it.

Tourism
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with few specific disadvantages owing to the mix up of foreign cultures with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
culture.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with prohibited drugs and other intoxicating substances to either consume or even sell them at the places of attraction, which might create law and order problems and promote drug addiction among natives.
Furthermore
, foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
being vulnerable, attract attention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
criminals. This tendency can lead to an increase in crime rate at popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
spots. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
beaches of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Digha
, West Bengal,
for instance
, are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
having regular incidents of alcohol-abuse, murder and snatching which is tainting its reputation a lot.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
that there are few demerits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
significant benefits
as well
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
community. Apart from generating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
revenue, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, it encourages the preservation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
culture as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
prefer to acquaint themselves of history, language and cuisine of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
place. This promotes the construction of museums,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
musical bands and restaurants.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
creates the demand for certain jobs like interpreter guides and contributes towards the growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
hotels and shops.

In the line of conclusion, tourism's advantages have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
edge over the disadvantages.
Therefore
, I believe that every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should work towards the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
and provide adequate policing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the law and order issues at bay.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 28Using points and examples from the lecture, describe two ways that lakes can disappear. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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