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Integrated quest 6: Using main points and examples from the lecture, describe two kinds of rock formations in a cavern, and explain how the professor helps his students remember the difference between the two. v.1

Integrated quest 6: Using main points and examples from the lecture, describe two kinds of rock formations in a cavern, and explain how the professor helps his students remember the difference between the two. v. 1
Nowadays, most information is transmitted over the Internet. A strong dependency on this medium has been created, as personal, political and economic news and information are shared through it. As the Internet is so widely needed, many people believe that governments should provide this access for free. Others believe that Internet access should be paid for. Before the creation of the Internet, people had phones, newspapers and televisions; nowadays the Internet can replace all of these. Society is now built on a system that relies on everyone having access to the Internet, whether this be in school or in work life. However, while it is seen as a basic necessity in western cultures, the costs for accessing it are still too high for some people. When this point of view takes into account, it can be concluded that governments should provide access, or a division of inequality will be created in society. However, when one takes into account the things that the Internet has replaced, it becomes apparent that most of these are not free as well. It is necessary to pay for phone calls, for television and for newspapers. Storing all the information and passing it to consumers through the World Wide Web also entails costs. This raises the question whether the Internet should be handled differently. Providing Internet access to everyone would mean a significant cost for the governments, especially at times of economic crisis. Therefore, this is not a plausible solution to integrate each individual in the society. In my opinion, while the Internet has become as necessary as a phone, governments should not provide it for free, as the money needed for this would put too much strain on public resources. This finance could be used for even more urgent topics, such as poverty and starvation
Nowadays, most information
is transmitted
over the Internet. A strong dependency on this medium has
been created
, as personal, political and economic news and information
are shared
through it. As the Internet is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
widely
needed,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should provide this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
for free. Others believe that Internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
should
be paid
for.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
the creation of the Internet,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had phones, newspapers and televisions; nowadays the Internet can replace all of these. Society is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
built on a system that relies on everyone having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to the Internet, whether this be in school or in work life.
However
, while it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a basic necessity in western cultures, the costs for accessing it are
still
too high for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. When this point of view takes into account, it can
be concluded
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
, or a division of inequality will
be created
in society.

However
, when one takes into account the things that the Internet has replaced, it becomes apparent that most of these are not free
as well
. It is necessary to pay for phone calls, for television and for newspapers. Storing all the information and passing it to consumers through the World Wide Web
also
entails costs. This raises
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "the question".
the question whether
the Internet should
be handled
differently
. Providing Internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to everyone would mean a significant cost for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
,
especially
at times of economic crisis.
Therefore
, this is not a plausible solution to integrate each individual in the society.

In my opinion, while the Internet has become as necessary as a phone,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should not provide it for free, as the money needed for this would put too much strain on public resources. This finance could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for even more urgent topics, such as poverty and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
starvation
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Integrated quest 6: Using main points and examples from the lecture, describe two kinds of rock formations in a cavern, and explain how the professor helps his students remember the difference between the two. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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