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Topic: Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular. Some feel that this is a positive trend while others not. What is your opinion on this? v.1

Topic: Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular. Some feel that this is a positive trend while others not. What is your opinion on this? v. 1
It is quite common these days for younger in many countries to have a break from studying after graduating from high school during one year. This trend is not restricted to rich students who have the money to travel, but is also evident among poorer students who choose to work and become economically independent for a period of time. The reasons for this trend may involve the recognition that a young adult who passes directly from school to university is rather restricted in terms of general knowledge and experience of the world. By contrast, those who have spent some time earning a living or travelling to other places have a broader view of life and better personal resources to draw on. They tend to be more independent, which is a very important factor in academic study and research, as well as giving them an advantage in terms of coping with the challenges of student life. However, there are dangers in taking time off at that important age. Young adults may end up never returning to their studies or finding it difficult to re-adapt to an academic environment. They may think that it is better to continue in a particular job or to do something completely different from a university course. But overall, I think this is less likely today when academic qualifications are essential for getting a reasonable career. In conclusion, young people should be encouraged to broaden their horizons. That is the best way for them to get a clear perspective of what they are hoping to do with their lives and why. Students with such a perspective are usually the most effective and motivated ones and taking a year off may be the best way to gain this.
It is quite common these days for younger in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries to have a break from studying after graduating from high school during one year. This trend is not restricted to rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have the money to travel,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
is
also
evident among poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
choose to work and become
economically
independent for a period of time.

The reasons for this trend may involve the recognition that a young adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
passes
directly
from school to university is
rather
restricted in terms of general knowledge and experience of the world. By contrast, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have spent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time earning a living or travelling to other places have a broader view of life and better personal resources to draw on. They tend to be more independent, which is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor in academic study and research,
as well
as giving them an advantage in terms of coping with the challenges of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
life.

However
, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
in taking time off at that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
age. Young adults may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up never returning to their studies or finding it difficult to re-adapt to an academic environment. They may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is better to continue in a particular job or to do something completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from a university course.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
overall
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is less likely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
when academic qualifications are essential for getting a reasonable career.

In conclusion
, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
be encouraged
to broaden their horizons.
That is
the best way for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
perspective of what they are hoping to do with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and why.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
with such a perspective are
usually
the most effective and motivated ones and taking a year off may be the best way to gain this.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Topic: Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular. Some feel that this is a positive trend while others not. What is your opinion on this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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