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TPO-25 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

TPO-25 - Independent Writing Task Young people nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
Without a shadow of the doubt having a good community plays a vital role in social development and improvement. We live in our community and it effects on us in various aspects. Many people contend that young peole do not have enough time to help their communities, while others assert it is not true. Both of the opposing arguments appear to be some what convincing and stand to point. However, my personal experience and actual observation of life have led me to agree that young people can be very influential in their communities. In the ensuing lines, I delve into my reasons to substantiate my point. The first and probably the most reason is that we send our kids to schools to prepare them for living in a community. In schools they can learn different things and they can enhance their skills and abilities to do different tasks. After they get elder, we can give them responsibilities to do like cleaning dishes at home, buying vegetables or other things. Taking this kind of responsibilities are the firs steps in entering to the real world. Consequently, they can get part time jobs and by having a job they can do their actions in community. As a result, young people can improve the condition of their nation. Another point springing to mind is that entering universities is a so much promising step into a world of opportunities. As an individual, we can have a chance to be an expert in our fileds. If we do our tasks in university, we will be a successful person and our succedb by defult can lead to a big impression in our community. For example, my father is a scientist in chemistry field. Two years ago he decided to built an institute for all the scientists in my country, where they can do their experiments. Recently, they discoverd a new material that can be very useful in fabricating advanced devices. As you can see, people and especially young people can do useful actions toward their communities' enhancement. Although the mentioned reasons are the first ones cross to the mind as reasons young people can be effective in society. There is a posibility that they do not do actions for improving their country. So, in this way they have bad impression on society. However, I affirm that young people are effective in creating a good situation in country and by managing the situation and breeding good kids the disadvantages can be neglected. To sum it all up, it is easy see that young people are effective in society. They can be responsible and do their tasks during their childood and after entering universities they can be an expert in their field of specialty. I hope someday we all breed good kids to have a better society. The more our kids improve, the greater our society will enhance.
Without a shadow of the doubt having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
plays a vital role in social development and improvement. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
and it effects on us in various aspects.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
contend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
Possible spelling mistake found.
peole
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
, while others assert it is not true. Both of the opposing arguments appear to be
Did you mean "somewhat" (=slightly)?
some what
convincing and stand to point.
However
, my personal experience and actual observation of life have led me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
influential in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
. In the ensuing lines, I delve into my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
to substantiate my point.

The
first
and
probably
the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to schools to prepare them for living in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. In
The comma is probably missing here: "schools, they".
schools they
can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
things and
they can enhance their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and abilities to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
tasks. After they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
elder, we can give them responsibilities to do like cleaning dishes at home, buying vegetables or other things. Taking this kind of responsibilities are the firs steps in entering to the real world.
Consequently
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
jobs and by having a job they can do their actions in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the condition of their nation.

Another point springing to mind is that entering universities is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much promising step into a world of opportunities. As an individual, we can have a chance to be an expert in our
Possible spelling mistake found.
fileds
. If we do our tasks in university, we will be a successful person and our
Possible spelling mistake found.
succedb
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
defult
can lead to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
impression in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
.
For example
, my father is a scientist in chemistry field. Two years ago he decided
Did you mean "to build"?
to built
an institute for all the scientists in my country, where they can do their experiments. Recently, they
Possible spelling mistake found.
discoverd
a new material that can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful in fabricating advanced devices. As you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can do useful actions toward their
Possible spelling mistake found.
communities&
#039; enhancement.

Although the mentioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
are the
first
ones cross to the mind as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be effective in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. There is a
Possible spelling mistake found.
posibility
that they do not do actions for improving their country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in this way they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impression on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
However
, I affirm that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are effective in creating a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
situation in country and by managing the situation and breeding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
the disadvantages can
be neglected
.

To sum it all up, it is easy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are effective in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. They can be responsible and do their tasks during their
Possible spelling mistake found.
childood
and after entering universities they can be an expert in their field of specialty. I hope someday we all breed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to have a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. The more our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
, the greater our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
will enhance.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO-25 - Independent Writing Task Young people nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
480 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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