Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

TPO 23 - Question 2Some people enjoy spending their free time alone in activities such as reading, thinking, or writing. Others enjoy spending their free time in shared activities with other people. Which do you prefer and why? v.1

TPO 23 - Question 2Some people enjoy spending their free time alone in activities such as reading, thinking, or writing. Others enjoy spending their free time in shared activities with other people. Which do you prefer and why? v. 1
The library is considered by many scholars as a knowledge warehouse and important for educational activities. Many people argue that libraries should be replaced by computers as library are more inefficient in terms of cost, space and time, while others believe that libraries are still relevant even until today. In my opinion, I strongly believe that libraries are still essential for scholars under some conditions. The argument against libraries can be acceptable for a few underlying reasons. First, libraries are strongly linked to the printed version of sources which are tend to be costly. Hence, by replacing library to computers, both public or private library can save money. Second, not only do computers are easy to access, but also the information in the computers has always been available once it is uploaded. Furthermore, readers often need to wait for days just to get the books or the journals by the reason that the number of the book is limited. Moreover, when we look out for a book, we are forced to search for the book manually which is time consuming. Despite the argument above, libraries can also pose a few benefits. To begin with, books or journals that are offered in libraries are believed to be much more reliable and more complete than sources that provided through the computers. The fact that there are still many classical books or research journals that have not been uploaded in the computers, sometimes readers should refer to the library. Moreover, for scholars who have an interest in primary sources, libraries are believed to have more primary sources than computers. This is because the majority of primary sources are old and sometimes are not available to public. In conclusion, even though people argue that libraries are ineffective and inefficient, I completely believe that libraries can still play as an important role for some people. The library provides the most reliable sources of information and not all of this information is available on the computers.
The library
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
scholars as a knowledge warehouse and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for educational activities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that libraries should
be replaced
by computers as library are more inefficient in terms of cost, space and time, while others believe that libraries are
still
relevant even until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. In my opinion, I
strongly
believe that libraries are
still
essential for scholars under
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
conditions.

The argument against libraries can be acceptable for a few underlying reasons.
First
, libraries are
strongly
linked to the printed version of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
which are
Consider using a past participle here: "tended".
tend
to be costly.
Hence
, by replacing library to computers, both public or private library can save money. Second, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do computers are easy to access,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the information in the computers has always been available once it
is uploaded
.
Furthermore
, readers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
need to wait for days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
or the journals by the reason that the number of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
is limited
.
Moreover
, when we look out for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
, we
are forced
to search for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
manually
which is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
.

Despite the argument above, libraries can
also
pose a few benefits. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
or journals that
are offered
in libraries
are believed
to be much more reliable and more complete than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
that provided through the computers. The fact that there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
or research journals that have not
been uploaded
in the computers,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
readers should refer to the library.
Moreover
, for scholars who have an interest in primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
, libraries
are believed
to have more primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
than computers. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the majority of primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
are not available to public.

In conclusion
,
even though
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that libraries are ineffective and inefficient, I completely believe that libraries can
still
play as an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. The library provides the most reliable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of information and not all of this information is available on the computers.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay TPO 23 - Question 2Some people enjoy spending their free time alone in activities such as reading, thinking, or writing. Others enjoy spending their free time in shared activities with other people. Which do you prefer and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts