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Some people enjoy spending their free time alone in activities such as reading, thinking, or writing. Others enjoy spending their free time in shared activities with other people. Which do you prefer and why? v.2

Some people enjoy spending their free time alone in activities such as reading, thinking, or writing. Others enjoy spending their free time in shared activities with other people. Which do you prefer and why? v. 2
Fast food joints had a massive expansion in recent years and hence, in a few nations, a huge amount of humans has encountered physical fitness issues by consuming more junk food. Should higher authorities levy more taxes on such types of eating items? This essay disagrees that governments should tax this kind of food. Firstly, this essay will discuss how it will impact only a certain income group and secondly, it will discuss other alternatives to reduce intake of junk food. To begin with, increasing tariffs will not affect individuals who belong to the upper class and can afford such edible items. Although, a difference might be seen in lower and middle class people who consume junk food. That means increasing the tax on fast food will have only a marginal effect on its consumption. For example, the average income category of people might not take their families to fast food restaurants. On the other hand, the government should think of creating awareness about the ill-effects of junk food. If people are educated about the harmful effects of consuming this variety of food frequently, there is a bright possibility of them adopting a healthier lifestyle. For instance, many individuals follow what is shown in advertisements and broadcasting videos of fitness problems caused by eating fast food will surely direct them towards a balanced diet. To conclude, government increasing taxes on junk food will not give the desired results and that will be specific to selected groups of individuals. While, raising awareness of health concerns, will keep a lasting impression on an individual’s mind.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
joints had a massive expansion in recent years and
hence
, in a few nations, a huge amount of humans has encountered physical fitness issues by consuming more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. Should higher authorities levy more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
on such types of eating items? This essay disagrees that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Firstly
, this essay will discuss how it will impact
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a certain income group and
secondly
, it will discuss other alternatives to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
intake of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
food.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, increasing tariffs will not affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
who belong to the upper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and can afford such edible items. Although, a difference might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in lower and middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who consume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. That means increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
will have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a marginal effect on its consumption.
For example
, the average income category of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might not take their families to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
restaurants.

On the other hand
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of creating awareness about the ill-effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are educated
about the harmful effects of consuming this variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
frequently
, there is a bright possibility of them adopting a healthier lifestyle.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
follow what
is shown
in advertisements and broadcasting videos of fitness problems caused by eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
will
surely
direct them towards a balanced diet.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
will not give the desired results and that will be specific to selected groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
. While, raising awareness of health concerns, will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a lasting impression on an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual’s
mind.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people enjoy spending their free time alone in activities such as reading, thinking, or writing. Others enjoy spending their free time in shared activities with other people. Which do you prefer and why? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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