Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

More and more people are buying items on the Internet and from magazines or catalogs. Other people prefer shopping in a store. Which do you prefer and why? v.1

More and more people are buying items on the Internet and from magazines or catalogs. Other people prefer shopping in a store. Which do you prefer and why? v. 1
The plethora of problems which plague the environment are increasing incrementally with each passing day. Although some believe that these concerns are of global interest, others believe national intervention is more than enough. The purpose of this essay is to discuss why environmental problems demand national attention, but why these issues still need worldwide cooperation. There is some truth to why people come to a conclusion that environmental problems can be solved internally. It is believed, although the persisting problems are the same, the circumstances leading to them are drastically varied. To quote an example, Air pollution in India is mostly caused by too many automobiles crowding the roads. In contrast, the same issue in China originated due to heavy coal combustion. As we see, the above problems demand very different solutions to the same problem, and this leads to a belief that national governments have a better grasp of the current situation and can deal with these problems internally. Consequently, a larger chunk of the population believes that all environmental issues need cooperation on a global level. This idea stems from the fact that involvements of multiple parties will lead to better brainstorming. The mindset of people here is that more brainstorming will result in countries to pick out more ideas which can help issues which not only provide solutions for issues globally viz global warming and climate change, but also fine-tune them for their internal issues. For example, issues like water pollution can be a point of discussion between different governments. A discussion on these topics will result in the sharing of a bunch of ideas which benefits not only one country, but on a global scale. In conclusion, we discussed why people think that a national involvement is sufficient for solving environmental problems, and also saw why others believe in the converse and how it is advantageous to have cooperation on a global level for all issues. On a personal note, i believe it is important we have more collaboration and keep lesser secrets.
The plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
which plague the environment are increasing
incrementally
with each passing day. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that these concerns are of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
interest, others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
intervention is more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. The purpose of this essay is to discuss why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
demand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
attention,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
why these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
still
need worldwide cooperation.

There is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
truth to why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to a conclusion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
can
be solved
internally
. It
is believed
, although the persisting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are the same, the circumstances leading to them are
drastically
varied. To quote an example, Air pollution in India is
mostly
caused by too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
automobiles crowding the roads.
In contrast
, the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
in China originated due to heavy coal combustion. As we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, the above
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
demand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
solutions to the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, and this leads to a belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
have a better grasp of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation and can deal with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
internally
.

Consequently
, a larger chunk of the population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believes
that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
need cooperation on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
level. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
stems from the fact that involvements of multiple parties will lead to better brainstorming. The mindset of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
here is that more brainstorming will result in countries to pick out more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provide solutions for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
globally viz
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
warming and climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
fine-tune them for their internal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
like water pollution can be a point of discussion between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
. A discussion on these topics will result in the sharing of a bunch of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
which benefits not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one country,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
scale.

In conclusion
, we discussed why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
involvement is sufficient for solving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
why others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
in the converse and how it is advantageous to have cooperation on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
level for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
. On a personal note,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
we have more collaboration and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
lesser secrets.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay More and more people are buying items on the Internet and from magazines or catalogs. Other people prefer shopping in a store. Which do you prefer and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts