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TPO 43 - Question 6Using points and examples from the talk, explain two different ways in which animals protect themselves with food. v.1

TPO 43 - Question 6Using points and examples from the talk, explain two different ways in which animals protect themselves with food. v. 1
Different drugs have been widespread among young generations. This essay will discuss some reason behind this phenomenon and some influences of this trend. There are two reasons triggering more and more teenagers to use drugs. Firstly, young people are easily influenced either directly or indirectly by the environment. If their parents, friends or even idols are addicted to drugs, they are more likely to imitate their behaviours. Secondly, many people use drugs to stabilize their mood. Post trauma, emotional issues or untreated psychological problems often drive people to turn to drugs. Psychotropic drugs can boost people’s mood and increase the sense of euphoria, albeit temporarily. In a long term, people find themselves using these drugs again and again. This trend brings some detrimental ramifications on drug users’ health and the society as a whole. To begin with, psychotropic drugs will cause damage drug their brains’ activities. Those people who use psychotropic drugs for a long time are more likely to suffer hallucination, and a more serious consequence is that they lose abilities to do some basic activities, such as showering and shopping. As a result, the government has to look after these people. In addition, drug abuse spreads a wrong notion to the public. People may think they can relieve their pressure directly by having drugs rather than find practical measures. Therefore, people tend to lose problem-solving ability. In conclusion, several factors can cause drug abuse and it also exerts some adverse effects on drug users’ health and the society, including negatively impacting their health and increasing the burden for the government.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
have been widespread among young generations. This essay will discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reason behind this phenomenon and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
influences of this trend.

There are two reasons triggering more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
.
Firstly
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
easily
influenced either
directly
or
indirectly
by the environment. If their parents, friends or even idols
are addicted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
, they are more likely to imitate their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
to stabilize their mood. Post trauma, emotional issues or untreated psychological problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
drive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to turn to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
. Psychotropic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
can boost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
mood and increase the sense of euphoria, albeit
temporarily
. In a long term,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find themselves using these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
again and again.

This trend brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
detrimental ramifications on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
users’ health and the society as a whole. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, psychotropic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
will cause damage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
their brains’ activities. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
psychotropic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
for a long time are more likely to suffer hallucination, and a more serious consequence is that they lose abilities to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic activities, such as showering and shopping.
As a result
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
look after these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
abuse spreads a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
notion to the public.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they can relieve their pressure
directly
by having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
rather
than find practical measures.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to lose problem-solving ability.

In conclusion
, several factors can cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
abuse and it
also
exerts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
adverse effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
users’ health and the society, including
negatively
impacting their health and increasing the burden for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 43 - Question 6Using points and examples from the talk, explain two different ways in which animals protect themselves with food. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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