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TPO 20 – task 2: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they already know how to do well. v.2

TPO 20 – task 2: Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they already know how to do well. v. 2
In today' s world, reaching success in life is very challenging. It not only requires careful planning and high level of knowledge, but also it needs venturing. Some people agree that successful people try new things and take risks instead of only doing things that fit in their expertise; some others, however, disagree. From my perspective, I disagree with the statement and here are my justifications. The first advantage in doing what we already know how to do well is that we can be more productive. Since we know the rules and regulations, we can make superior decisions about our business. Having enough experience is also very vital in becoming successful in our life. For example, my uncle is the CEO of an international trading company. His business is very prosperous because he knows all the details about import and export regulations and legal contracts. Each year, his revenue increase due to substantial experiences he gets in his business. In summary, his experiences assist him to be more productive. The second advantage is saving time. Countless people lose their valuable time by taking risk and trying new things, which finally result loss of money and time. Undeniably, it takes time to become familiar with a new business; and in some scenarios, a person might fail and have to declare bankruptcy several times until become successful in a business. Consequently, starting a business in our expertise is beneficial, because we spent our time gaining experience instead of wasting time and money. Having discussed this issue from this point of view, I rather look at it from another viewpoint. A growing body of examples from history indicates that numerous successful people took risk in order to become successful. For instance, Steve Jobs quit university and used all the money he had saved to start the Apple company. Unquestionably, taking risk and luck, to some extent, contribute to success. All in all, although some sophisticated individuals may reject my point of view, I reiterate that not taking risk is a better policy based on the arguments made in the body paragraphs.
In
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today&
#039; s world, reaching success in life is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
challenging. It not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
requires careful planning and high level of knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it needs venturing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try new things and take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
instead
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
doing things that fit in their expertise;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others,
however
, disagree. From my perspective, I disagree with the statement and here are my justifications.

The
first
advantage in doing what we already know how to do well is that we can be more productive. Since we know the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
superior decisions about our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. Having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vital in becoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
in our life.
For example
, my uncle is the CEO of an international trading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. His
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
prosperous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he knows all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about import and export regulations and legal contracts. Each year, his revenue increase due to substantial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. In summary, his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
assist him to be more productive.

The second advantage is saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Countless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lose their valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
and trying new things, which
finally
result loss of money and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Undeniably
, it takes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to become familiar with a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
; and in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
scenarios, a person might fail and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
declare bankruptcy several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
until become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
Consequently
, starting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
in our expertise is beneficial,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we spent our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
instead
of wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and money.

Having discussed this issue from this point of view, I
rather
look at it from another viewpoint. A growing body of examples from history indicates that numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
took
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
in order to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
.
For instance
, Steve Jobs quit university and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
all the money he had saved to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
the Apple
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Unquestionably
, taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
and luck, to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, contribute to success.

All in all, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sophisticated individuals may reject my point of view, I reiterate that not taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
is a better policy based on the arguments made in the body paragraphs.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay TPO 20 – task 2: Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they already know how to do well. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
348 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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