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In some cities, the governments have tried to reduce traffic. For instance, they imposed a congestion tax during rush hour. Do you think this development is positive or negative? v.1

In some cities, the governments have tried to reduce traffic. For instance, they imposed a congestion tax during rush hour. Do you think this development is positive or negative? v. 1
Many people drive their own car to work, making traffic congestion during rush hour. Governments have imposed an extra tax on the drivers, trying to reduce traffic. However, I consider it a negative development. First, imposing an extra tax during rush hour cannot reduce people’s willingness to drive to work. Although paying extra money increases the burden of workers, the advantages of driving to work still outweigh that drawback. Commuting by their own car is convenient and comfortable for workers. They can alternate their schedules freely, instead of following the timetables of trains or buses. In addition, they can enjoy their own space before work. Therefore, authorities should optimise public transportation systems and launch promotion projects to attract workers. For instance, authorities can expand the subway systems as well as increase the train frequency. Otherwise, workers will not change their habit. Furthermore, levying a congestion tax worsens the traffic. Authorities have to check the identification of every driver during the rush hour, in order to impose a tax. Drivers are forced to stop and receive examination. It is a complex work, and it takes much time for the police to make sure whether or not the information is correct. Roads would be more congested by the measure. Authorities can uplift the fare of parking and reduce the parking lots in cities. It will be more efficient for making people less willing to drive during rush hour. In conclusion, imposing a congestion tax is neither effective nor efficient for reducing traffic during rush hour. I suggest that governments should try other measures to deal with the problem.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
drive their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
car to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rush
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
have imposed an extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on the drivers, trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
.
However
, I consider it a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.

First
, imposing an extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rush
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s willingness to drive to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. Although paying extra money increases the burden of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
, the advantages of driving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
still
outweigh that drawback. Commuting by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
car is convenient and comfortable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
. They can alternate their schedules
freely
,
instead
of following the timetables of trains or buses.
In addition
, they can enjoy their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
space
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authorities
should
Possible spelling mistake. 'optimise' is British English.
optimise
public transportation systems and launch promotion projects to attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authorities
can expand the subway systems
as well
as increase the train frequency.
Otherwise
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their habit.

Furthermore
, levying a congestion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
worsens the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Authorities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the identification of every driver during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rush
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour
, in order to impose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
. Drivers
are forced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
and receive examination. It is a complex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, and it takes much time for the police to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
the information is correct. Roads would be more congested by the measure.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Authorities
can uplift the fare of parking and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the parking lots in cities. It will be more efficient for making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
less willing to drive during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rush
hour.

In conclusion
, imposing a congestion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
is neither effective nor efficient for reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rush
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour
. I suggest that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should try other measures to deal with the problem.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In some cities, the governments have tried to reduce traffic. For instance, they imposed a congestion tax during rush hour. Do you think this development is positive or negative? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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