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Some people believe that the country development benefits from the high-educated university students. However, some people think that the large amount of young people in university only leads to high unemployment graduates. Discuss both views and give you v.2

Some people believe that the country development benefits from the high-educated university students. However, some people think that the large amount of young people in university only leads to high unemployment graduates. 2
Nowadays, more students are studying in universities than before. Whilst many people consider that university graduates great human resource for their nation, yet some others argue that the students can hardly find jobs after graduation. Although the increasing number of graduates makes the job market competitive, I believe that higher education leads to better country development. On the one hand, students receiving tertiary education boost the development of their country. . In universities, students gain advanced and professional knowledge upon which the systematic study is rested. It nourishes students’ literacy and improve their expertise in specific fields. Those well-educated student expands the talent pool of the country. With plenty of professionals, the country develops faster. Civil engineering perfectly illustrates this idea. Governments need civil engineers to design and build houses, public facilities, and transportation system. Those professionals should be trained in universities, in order to be qualified. It is undeniable that experts in various fields assist the authorities to enhance the well-being of their people, and are the key to a prosper society. However, some individuals contend that too many university graduates may destroy the balance in job market, leading to high percentages of unemployment. Most of the young people should learn some skills or practical skills instead of the difficult theories. Not every student is suitable for higher education. Studying in vocational schools or working straight after secondary education is the better path for some youngsters. Also, excess university graduates competing for a position of professional job results in more people being unemployed. It is vital to keep the balance of supply and demand in job market. The university graduates can either improve the welfare of their country or fail to get a job. From my prospective, the risk of imbalance in job market is impossible to be ignored, yet the companies or governments have more chances to find the best candidate. Furthermore, as the proverb says, knowledge is power. To power the nation, the cultivation of human resource is indispensable.
Nowadays, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are studying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Whilst
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
great human resource for their nation,
yet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others argue that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can hardly find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
after graduation. Although the increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market competitive, I believe that higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
leads to better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
development.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
receiving tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
boost the development of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
gain advanced and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
knowledge upon which the systematic study
is rested
. It nourishes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
literacy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their expertise in specific fields. Those well-educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
expands the talent pool of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. With
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
develops faster. Civil engineering
perfectly
illustrates this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
need civil engineers to design and build
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
, public facilities, and transportation system. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
should
be trained
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
, in order to
be qualified
. It is undeniable that experts in various fields assist the authorities to enhance the well-being of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and are the key to
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'prosper' is correct. If 'prosper' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a prosper
society.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals contend that too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the balance in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market, leading to high percentages of unemployment. Most of the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
or practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
instead
of the difficult theories. Not every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is suitable for higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Studying in vocational schools or working straight after secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the better path for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
youngsters.
Also
, excess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
competing for a position of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
results in more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
being unemployed
. It is vital to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the balance of supply and demand in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
can either
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the welfare of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
or fail to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. From my prospective, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of imbalance in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market is impossible to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
,
yet
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
have more chances to find the best candidate.
Furthermore
, as the proverb says, knowledge is power. To power the nation, the cultivation of human resource is indispensable.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that the country development benefits from the high-educated university students. However, some people think that the large amount of young people in university only leads to high unemployment graduates. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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