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TPO-16: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best way to travel is in a group led by a tour guide. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

TPO-16: The best way to travel is in a group led by a tour guide. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
Online shopping is the new trend now. Shopping for books, groceries and booking air tickets online has seen a colossal rise. I strongly feel that this way of shopping is advantageous. There are myriads of advantages for shopping online. To begin with, online shopping is convenient. Which is to say, one can shop anywhere and anytime from the comfort of their luxuries. Furthermore, one does not have to stand in queues to complete their purchases. In addition to that, there are a variety of products available online as compared to a shopping mall or a grocery store. A recent study has shown, the number of online buyers has increased from 45% in 2014 to a staggering 76%. The other massive advantage is that, with the increase in competition of online shops, the price of the products has become very economical. The online stores, to be in the bottle neck competition, come up with various offers and shopping festivals to allure the customers towards them. For example, Amazon has their quarterly sale, to challenge them Flipkart plans their sale during that period itself. This competition benefits the customers in a huge way. On the other hand, a heavy reliance on online shopping can sometimes lead to fraud. There is a high chance one could end up receiving a fake or duplicate product. For instance, one ordering a branded T-shirt online can be duped with a first copy or a cheap product. However, if one is vigil enough, they can stay away from such frauds. In conclusion, the merits definitely outweigh the demerits. With the constant progress in the online scene, the internet shopping is just going to get better.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is the new trend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Shopping
for books, groceries and booking air tickets
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a colossal rise. I
strongly
feel that this way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is advantageous.

There are myriads of advantages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is convenient. Which is to say, one can shop anywhere and anytime from the comfort of their luxuries.
Furthermore
, one does not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
stand in queues to complete their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
.
In addition
to that, there are a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
as compared to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
mall or a grocery store. A recent study has shown, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
buyers has increased from 45% in 2014 to a staggering 76%.

The other massive advantage is that, with the increase in competition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shops, the price of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
economical. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
stores, to be in the
This word is normally spelled as one.
bottle neck
competition,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with various offers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
festivals to allure the customers towards them.
For example
, Amazon has their quarterly sale, to challenge them Flipkart plans their sale during that period itself. This competition benefits the customers
Consider replacing "in a huge way" with the adverb for "huge"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a huge way
.

On the other hand
, a heavy reliance on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
lead to fraud. There is a high chance one could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up receiving a fake or duplicate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
For instance
, one ordering a branded T-shirt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
can
be duped
with a
first
copy or a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
However
, if one is vigil
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, they can stay away from such frauds.

In conclusion
, the merits definitely outweigh the demerits. With the constant progress in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
scene, the internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO-16: The best way to travel is in a group led by a tour guide. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
278 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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