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It is very important for people to have a suitable employment, what's the most effective way to find a job? v.1

It is very important for people to have a suitable employment, what's the most effective way to find a job? v. 1
Luxury brands have seen a significant rise in its figures of customers in the recent years. It is arguably that whether this trend is positive or will cause several negative consequences. In my opinion, I totally disagree with this tendency due to certain reasons which will be demonstrated in my essay. People nowadays seem to be attracted by exquisite and expensive items and household equipments because they want to show their wealth and social status. The frequent buyers of expansive brand's look forward to drawing other attention, by posting them on the social media or showing their outfits when they are in public, which highly likely for them to gain better reputation. For instance, in America, Gucci, which is among one of the most successful fashion brands, illustrated that a huge proportion of their customers purchased their products for style-making only. However, it is not the expensive items itself is fabulous nor the fame they want to have. The community tends to imitate the same things others do which also includes buying costly products. For example, a food commercial on television can make us hungry, wherein we wish to eat the snacks as the actors do. Therefore, pricey goods are no exception to this, which people rather compete with each other to inform they have the similar thing with that of others'. In my opinion, however, I regard this tendency as extravagant. I believe that numerous other brands that cost less, but still provide the standard qualities to their users. People who are influenced by those lavish products of notorious providers possess the risk of being involved in financial issues.
Luxury brands have
seen
a significant rise in its figures of customers in the recent years. It is
arguably
that whether this trend is
positive
or will cause several
negative
consequences. In my opinion, I
totally
disagree with this tendency due to certain reasons which will
be demonstrated
in my essay.

People
nowadays seem to
be attracted
by exquisite and expensive items and household equipments
because
they want to
show
their wealth and social status. The frequent buyers of expansive brand's look forward to drawing
other
attention, by posting them on the social media or showing their outfits when they are in public, which
highly
likely for them to gain better reputation.
For instance
, in America, Gucci, which is among one of the most successful fashion brands, illustrated that a huge proportion of their customers
purchased
their products for style-making
only
.

However
, it is not the expensive items itself is fabulous nor the fame they want to have. The community tends to imitate the same things others do which
also
includes buying costly products.
For example
, a food commercial on television can
make
us hungry, wherein we wish to eat the snacks as the actors do.
Therefore
, pricey
goods
are no exception to this, which
people
rather
compete with each
other
to inform they have the similar thing with that of others'.

In my opinion,
however
, I regard this tendency as extravagant. I believe that numerous
other
brands that cost less,
but
still
provide the standard qualities to their users.
People
who
are influenced
by those lavish products of notorious providers possess the
risk
of
being involved
in financial issues.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay It is very important for people to have a suitable employment, what's the most effective way to find a job? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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