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TPO 15- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at young age. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

TPO 15- In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at young age. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
it’s often argued that undergraduates should be forced to take only courses that will be beneficial in the long run. While others believe that they should be free to choose whatever they are most interested in. Although science degrees offer better opportunities to procure a good job, this essay will show that forcing someone to do what they are not interested in will often result in failure. On the one hand, students who finish university having studied an area of science are far more likely to find a job. The reason behind this is that industries related to technology are always growing and there is an ever-increasing demand for professionals in this field. For instance, Malaysia attracts a lot of foreign companies because of the competence of their science graduates. This essay argues that a person who has found employment easily is not guaranteed success in their careers. On the other hand, a large number of students will fail their exams if they are forced to study certain subjects. It is very difficult for students to attend a class they dislike because they will have no motivation and find it more difficult to grasp the concepts. For example, most parents in Jordan force their children to study business-related subjects at university, however it has resulted in a failure rate of nearby one third. Therefore, I believe that people will be more likely to succeed if they follow their interests. To conclude, science-based subjects should not be made mandatory at third-level education because a guarantee of work does not help people to succeed and students will find them too difficult and fail their exams.
it
’s
often
argued that undergraduates should
be forced
to take
only
courses that will be beneficial in the long run.
While
others believe that they should be free to choose whatever they are most interested in. Although science degrees offer better opportunities to procure a
good
job, this essay will
show
that forcing someone to do what they are not interested in will
often
result in failure.

On the one hand,
students
who finish university having studied an area of science are far more likely to find a job. The reason behind this is that industries related to technology are always growing and there is an ever-increasing demand for professionals in this field.
For instance
, Malaysia attracts
a lot of
foreign
companies
because
of the competence of their science graduates. This essay argues that a person who has found employment
easily
is not guaranteed success in their careers.

On the other hand
,
a large number of
students
will fail their exams if they
are forced
to study certain subjects. It is
very
difficult for
students
to attend a
class
they dislike
because
they will have no motivation and find it more difficult to grasp the concepts.
For example
, most parents in Jordan force their children to study business-related subjects at university,
however
it has resulted in a failure rate of nearby one third.
Therefore
, I believe that
people
will be more likely to succeed if they follow their interests.

To conclude
, science-based subjects should not
be made
mandatory at third-level education
because
a guarantee of work does not
help
people
to succeed and
students
will find them too difficult and fail their exams.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 15- In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at young age. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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