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TPO 15- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at young age. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

TPO 15- In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at young age. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
Most developing countries fail to grow beyond a certain level because of the lack of adequate infrastructure. Hence, some people argue that foreign assistance should be primarily used to tackle this problems. I partly agree with this idea. While I do admit that infrastructure is important, it is not the only factor determining the success of a nation. One of the main problems that plague developing and underdeveloped countries is the lack of adequate infrastructure. For example, many of them do not have a good network of roads or railways. Likewise, they do not have enough power supplies or water distribution systems. Needless to say, foreigners do not want to invest in such countries. Infrastructure development requires a great deal of capital. Since poor countries cannot afford to invest that kind of money, they have to struggle with inadequate infrastructure. Unfortunately, this limits their growth prospects. Developed countries are unlikely to invest in developing countries that do not have good infrastructure. That explains why foreign investors are bullish on countries like China where they have excellent infrastructure conducive for growth. By contrast, few entrepreneurs want to invest in African countries where the infrastructure hardly exists. Needless to say, while China is on the path to growth, African nations are still struggling. Hence, the argument that foreign assistance should be primarily used for building infrastructure certainly holds some water. Even so, it is preposterous to utilize the entire aid received from abroad for building infrastructure. Better infrastructure alone will not ensure the development of a nation. Along with infrastructure, a nation needs healthy and educated citizens capable of giving back to the society. For this reason, it is important to invest in areas such as education and health. In addition to building schools and hospitals the government must ensure that quality education and health care are provided at these places for free or at affordable rates. Social welfare schemes should also be given a push. In conclusion, I contend that infrastructure development is certainly important and a certain portion of the foreign assistance should be used for this purpose. However, it is equally important to invest in key human development areas such as education, healthcare and social welfare.
Most developing
countries
fail to grow beyond a certain level
because
of the lack of adequate
infrastructure
.
Hence
,
some
people
argue that
foreign
assistance should be
primarily
used
to tackle
this
problems. I partly
agree
with this
idea
. While I do admit that
infrastructure
is
important
, it is not the
only
factor determining the success of a nation.

One of the main problems that plague developing and underdeveloped
countries
is the lack of adequate
infrastructure
.
For example
,
many
of them do not have a
good
network of roads or railways.
Likewise
, they do not have
enough
power supplies or water distribution systems. Needless to say, foreigners do not want to
invest
in such countries.

Infrastructure
development
requires a great deal of capital. Since poor
countries
cannot afford to
invest
that kind of money, they
have to
struggle with inadequate
infrastructure
. Unfortunately, this limits their growth prospects. Developed
countries
are unlikely to
invest
in developing
countries
that do not have
good
infrastructure
. That
explains
why
foreign
investors are bullish on
countries
like China where they have excellent
infrastructure
conducive for growth. By contrast, few entrepreneurs want to
invest
in African
countries
where the
infrastructure
hardly exists. Needless to say, while China is on the path to growth, African nations are
still
struggling.
Hence
, the argument that
foreign
assistance should be
primarily
used
for building
infrastructure
certainly
holds
some
water.

Even
so
, it is preposterous to utilize the entire aid received from abroad for building
infrastructure
. Better
infrastructure
alone will not ensure the
development
of a nation. Along with
infrastructure
, a nation needs healthy and educated citizens capable of giving back to the society.
For this reason
, it is
important
to
invest
in areas such as education and health.
In addition
to building schools and hospitals the
government
must
ensure that quality education and health care
are provided
at these places for free or at affordable rates. Social welfare schemes should
also
be
given
a push.

In conclusion
, I contend that
infrastructure
development
is
certainly
important
and a certain portion of the
foreign
assistance should be
used
for this purpose.
However
, it is
equally
important
to
invest
in key human
development
areas such as education, healthcare and social welfare.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 15- In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at young age. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
367 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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