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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at young age. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.265

In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at young age. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 265
In recent times, raising the price of fuel has sparked great debates about whether it is the most effective approach for dealing with traffic and environmental problems or not. I believe that it is definitely not the most proper way; however, providing a good public transportation can better solve these problems. To begin with, I disagree with increasing the expense of using car. A compelling reason for this is that this method does not reduce traffic congestion as well as does not abate any pollution since only the impoverished do not afford private transportation. In contrast, middle-class people are still willing to pay for this, while prosperous citizens even use more petrol. For example, a news once said that when Chinese government had arisen the fuel price, Chinese citizen still lived in the same way. Accordingly, this method is not the best way to deal with these problems, and thus, we require another method. On the other hand, I feel that a good and affordable public transportation is the most effective solution. This is because, people in every social class wants to use public transportation, which is quick and cheap to avoid traffic. For instance, a latest study found that, in Bangkok, public sky train is 50% faster than a car. In addition, almost every modern public transportation used electricity, so it does not create any pollution. Therefore, it is no doubt that public transportation is a better way to solve traffic and pollution problems. In conclusion, I think that increasing the price of petrol does not help with decreasing traffic and abating pollution since doing this only inhibit the use of private car of a certain group of people. On the contrary, giving effective and reliable electric public transportation is better at solving the problems.
In recent times, raising the price of fuel has sparked great debates about whether it is the most effective approach for dealing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and environmental problems or not. I believe that it is definitely not the most proper way;
however
, providing a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
can better solve these problems.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, I disagree with increasing the expense of using car. A compelling reason for this is that this method
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
not abate any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
since
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the impoverished do not afford private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
.
In contrast
, middle-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
still
willing to pay for this, while prosperous citizens even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more petrol.
For example
, a news once said that when Chinese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
had arisen the fuel price, Chinese citizen
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in the same way
.
Accordingly
, this method is not the best way to deal with these problems, and
thus
, we require another method.

On the other hand
, I feel that a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and affordable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
is the most effective solution. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in every social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
, which is quick and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
to avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
.
For instance
,
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
latest study found that, in Bangkok,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
sky train is 50% faster than a car.
In addition
, almost every modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
electricity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
not create any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
.
Therefore
, it is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
is a better way to solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
problems.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that increasing the price of petrol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with decreasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and abating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
since doing this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
inhibit the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of private car of a certain group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
On the contrary
, giving effective and reliable electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
is better at solving the problems.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at young age. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 265

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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