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TPO 11 - Some people say that the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to much information creates problems. Which view do you agree with? v.1

TPO 11 - Some people say that the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to much information creates problems. Which view do you agree with? v. 1
Many early school droppers have become successful in later in their life. Obviously some factors play a significant role in their failure in academics as well as success in the adulthood. This essay will discuss two primary causes for the each. First of all, teachers' are the first factor with demotivating children from attending educational institutions and securing great achievements. In other words, lack of training to handle students with learning difficulties, which leads children are poorly treated by educators. Eventually, learners unable to co- up with the school environment, resulting drop from schools entirely. By contrast, if they had supported effectively to overcome their weakest area in order to perform excellently, they would have completed their school education properly. However, many these school droppers turn to be either world renowned business man or scientist. The interesting fact is that, they all chased dream instead of sticking to acquire formal education. Albert Einstein, who had no formal education since his teacher point out that he was not a good student, but his mother's constant encouragement and motivation, he had focused on the which he liked. Eventually, due to his hard work and perseverance, he contributed to science abundantly. Under no circumstances are children insulted or avoided when they are unable to perform up to the level. Similarly, family is a key element which can influence child's intelligence by providing emotional support and motivate them continuously until they achieve something great. By way of conclusion, even though, some students unable to complete their formal education, they have reached better positions when they grow old. This is because family support and hard work. It is predicted that, educational institutions need to be cared those who under perform in classes.
Many
early
school
droppers have become successful in later in their life.
Obviously
some
factors play a significant role in their failure in academics
as well
as success in the adulthood. This essay will discuss two primary causes for the each.

First of all
, teachers' are the
first
factor with demotivating children from attending educational institutions and securing great achievements.
In other words
, lack of training to handle students with learning difficulties, which leads children are
poorly
treated by educators.
Eventually
, learners unable to co- up with the
school
environment, resulting drop from
schools
entirely
. By contrast, if they had supported
effectively
to overcome their weakest area in order to perform
excellently
, they would have completed their
school
education
properly
.

However
,
many
these
school
droppers turn to be either world renowned business
man
or scientist. The interesting fact is that, they all chased dream
instead
of sticking to acquire formal
education
. Albert Einstein, who had no formal
education
since his teacher point out that he was not a
good
student,
but
his mother's constant encouragement and motivation, he had focused on the which he liked.
Eventually
, due to his
hard
work and perseverance, he contributed to science
abundantly
. Under no circumstances are children insulted or avoided when they are unable to perform up to the level.
Similarly
, family is a key element which can influence child's intelligence by providing emotional support and motivate them
continuously
until they achieve something great.

By way of conclusion,
even though
,
some
students unable to complete their formal
education
, they have reached better positions when they grow
old
. This is
because
family support and
hard
work. It
is predicted
that, educational institutions need to
be cared
those who under perform in classes.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 11 - Some people say that the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to much information creates problems. Which view do you agree with? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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